You want weird criminal law stories? Birdsong’s got ‘em. Read them and chuckle.
Akron, OH: There appear to be blue states and then there are booze states. An election night party in Akron turned ugly after the promoters offered a free drink for every state Barack Obama won. Obama nabbed 28 states plus Washington, D.C. The staggeringly drunken crowd rioted – resulting in a bouncer being shot.
Oh my…democracy at work…sometimes a dangerous thing!
Fairbanks, AK: A motorist in Fairbanks was so drunk that he claimed he had no idea he was driving a stolen car until he was pulled over. Charles Schultz, whose blood alcohol level was more than twice the legal limit, thought he was driving his Chevy Cavalier until a trooper informed him he was actually behind the wheel of a Ford Escort.
Sounds like Schultz probably had too much Schlitz.
Indiana: Poor parenting and drunkenness are a family affair for this Indiana clan. Police pulled over a mother driving drunk with her 1-year old in the car. When they called the boy’s father to pick him up, he showed up drunk. When they moved on to the grandparents, they arrived stinking drunk! Ultimately, the police drove the boy home.
What a family of losers…
Germany: No! It was not armed robbery. A man with no arms managed to steal a TV from a German store. He made off with the 24-inch set using clamps that had been attached to his body by an accomplice. “It’s hard to believe that the sight of an armless man walking along with TV clamped to his body did not get anyone’s attention,” a cop remarked.
Naples, FL: A Florida fortune teller is being sued for failing to pay back a “spiritual loan” of $13,200. Eumathe Dufrene, 53, said she lent the seer the cash with the promise it would be returned once the evil hanging over her family was lifted. Now its up to a judge in Naples to determine whether or not the fortune teller, Dorothy Johnson, succeeded.
Yeah, right!
Niagara Falls, NY: this was not holy. A man importing bottles labeled “holy water” from Canada at the Niagara Falls border crossing was busted when a federal drug-sniffing dog got a whiff of the water. It turned out to be ketamine, an animal tranquilizer sometimes used as an illegal party drug.
Holy cow!
