Findlay, OH: This really is a weird one. A woman called Findlay police one recent weekend to complain that her husband claimed that her daughter — his stepdaughter — had performed oral sex on him and was far better at it than her mom. Police made note of this crime against humanity but had to tell the woman it actually did not violate any part of the penal code.
That’s funny….seems there may have been a violation of some “penal” code!
Seoul, Korea: The 950th time was the charm. A South Korean woman finally passed the written exam for a driver’s license after failing 949 times. Cha Sa-soon, 68, had tried every business day since April 2005 and had spent $4,200 in application fees. Now she must pass a road test.
Lots of luck, lady!
Raleigh, NC: A campus religious leader is unhappy about a study at Duke University that invites female students to attend parties where they can buy sex toys. The News & Observer of Raleigh reported that the director of the Duke Catholic Center has lodged a complaint with researchers.
Vibrator haters… BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ
Oregon: A dopey 21-year old man was arrested after calling 911 to report his pot had been stolen. Calvin Hoover told dispatchers that someone had broken into his vehicle and stole $400 and nearly an ounce of marijuana. Arriving cops busted him for DWI.
Yep, a real dope!
Virginia: Seems everything was in slow-mo. A naked Virginia teenager high on psychedelic mushrooms was hit by a train but was unhurt because it was only going 9 miles per hour. Police found the youth lying comfortably under the train, and he ran off before deputies could get to him. They caught up with him in the woods several hours later.
Sometimes the Lord protects little children, fools and teens high on mushrooms.
Connecticut: OK — Drop the Bazooka! The New york Post reported there appears to be a crime wave in Connecticut — sticky fingered thieves are stealing chewing gum at stores around the state. In one of the biggest heists, a 21-year old man was charged with shoplifting about $800 worth of gum in Stratford, Bridgeport and Fairfield. Police believe the “gumbahs” want something they can sell quickly and is hard to trace.
Nothing like a good chew.
