Mexico City: Several Mexican laboratories are offering a special DNA testing package for people who think their significant other is cheating. “They can bring us underwear, a sheet, chewing gum, anything which will provide testers with traces of sperm, saliva, or hair,” said the director of one lab. The process can cost up to $500.
Mexican “players” be careful — you have been warned…
L.A. Airport, CA: Here’s some cold-blooded smuggling. A 40-year old man arriving in the U.S. from Australia was arrested at LAX after he was found with 15 live lizards strapped to his chest. The menagerie, which the man allegedly hoped to sell, included geckos and monitor lizard. They are worth about $8,500 — but the accused smuggler now faces up to $250,000 in fines.
The headline should read: Smuggler Faces “Scales” of Justice.
Brownsville, TX: An enterprising entrepreneur in this Texas town decided to go into business selling pot door to door. However, he happened to choose the home of a cop — who walked back inside and asked him to wait at the front door. Believing he had found a buyer, the pot salesman hung around. When his customer returned he was carrying a badge and handcuffs. He was a police officer. An arrest was made.
El Stupido!
Newport Center, VT: More about pot, it was raining reefer in Vermont. Police in Newport Center seized $200,000 worth of marijuana believed to have been dropped from a yellow plane into a field near the Canadian border. Police responding to 911 calls found 55 pounds of weed lying in the grass.
Perhaps, the pot was destined for a “yellow submarine…”.
Iowa: Neither rain, nor snow, nor an endless supply of flowing booze was going to keep this postal worker from his appointed rounds. An Iowa woman was surprised to find her letter carrier sitting drunk on the floor of her kitchen munching away at a bowl of leftover noodles taken from the fridge. Police were called.
HIC!
