Birdsong's Law Blog

Weymouth, MA: Massachusetts police were on poop patrol after they got a search warrant to inspect the bowel movements of a suspect who had allegedly swallowed a huge stash of drugs.  After the suspect was taken to the hospital, Weymouth police combed through his fecal matter and found seven bags of heroin, eleven bags of cocaine and two bags of crack.

Phew!  What a load.

Milwaukee, WI: A 21 year old Milwaukee man was trying to be funny by wearing a ski mask to his mother’s house and pretending to rob her.  But his 37 year old mother took the prank seriously — she pulled out  her .357 and shot him.  His wounds are not life-threatening.  Neither went to jail.

Ninny!  It is not nice to fool your mother like that.

Lowell, MA: A truck-driver crashed into a house in Lowell Mass., when he gagged on Wendy’s chili. 

Holland: The Dutch parliament has banned sex between humans and animals, cutting the world off from the biggest supplier of bestiality videos.  Experts say the Netherlands may supply something like 80 percent of the world’s bestiality porn.  Prior to the newly signed ban, it had been legal to have sex with animals as long as the nonhuman was not injured in any way.

Depravity will need a new home! Yuck… sex with animals!

Australia: A drunken Australian man was arrested after he tried to plant a kiss on a police dog and had to be subdued with pepper spray when he refused to leave the pooch alone.  The drunk was charged with assaulting a police officer — the canine cop.

WOOF!

Tennessee: This guy went from the doghouse to the big house to the unemployment line.

Australia: An Australian woman woke up to find an intruder standing over her bed, with her bra on his head and a tub of ice cream and a can of tuna tucked under his arm.  The 61 year old woman then gave chase, hauling her catheter bag with her into the street, where the man was soon arrested.