Pennsylvania: It wasn’t playing possum — it was really dead! Pennsylvania police charged a man with public drunkenness after finding him trying to resuscitate a dead possum by a highway. Police were not sure whether David Wolfe, 55, was the motorist who had actually run over the animal.
YUCK
Cleveland, OH: A motorist fleeing police in Ohio abandoned his car and jumped a fence into a prison yard. The driver clocked speeds of 90 mph after failing to pull over for a traffic violation. After racing through several towns, the driver and the passenger bolted from the car and conveniently hopped right into a women’s prison in Cleveland where they were promptly arrested.
What dopes!
Plainfield Township, MI: Marion Zock, 82, accidentally crashed her car through the front window of a hair salon in Plainfield Township. Then, despite being “oh so embarrassed,” she hung around to get her hair done.
She knew she had good insurance and she was there anyway — why not?
Ohio: An Ohio inmate sent a letter to his mother with instructions on how to sneak drugs to him, but when he put the incorrect ZIP code on the envelope, it was sent back to the jail. In accordance with regulations, officials read his letter and hit him with a drug trafficking charge.
Ooops!
Russia: A former Russian state official has been charged with illegally selling the hulls of MiG fighter jets to a firm for just $5. The hulls — which come without engines or weapons — usually sell for around $3.9 million. The official faces 10 years in jail.
What a bargain!
Fountain Hill, PA: We can see that these guys did not come through in the clutch. Two men tried to carjack a woman delivering pizza in Fountain Hill but fled on foot after realizing they did not know how to drive a stick shift vehicle.
Dopes and losers!
