England: The newspapers call it, “Weekend at Bernie’s 3: Bernie Takes a Holiday.” Two women were arrested at an airport in England for trying to smuggle the corpse of a 91 year old man aboard a plane headed to Germany. They had put the man, a relative of theirs, in a wheelchair and put sunglasses on him.
Poor ol’ Bernie…
Georgia: An inmate who broke out of a Georgia jail, and then returned after stealing 14 packs of smokes, has been sentenced to 20 more years behind bars. Harry Jackson, 26, had been jailed for driving with a suspended license, but now adds burglary and escape to his rap sheet.
Another reminder of how smoking is bad for you…
Minnesota: Bloody hell! Police were called to a Minnesota health club after employees spotted a bearded man covered with blood using the showers. As it turns out, the man had just starred as Jesus in a local church’s passion play and had come to the gym to wash off the fake blood.
Jesus H Christ — what next?
Pennsylvania: A Pennsylvania father was arrested after going to his son’s elementary school to retrieve four ounces of pot from the child’s Elmo backpack. Teachers called police, who arrested Ronald Washington when he returned home.
Well, tickle me Elmo!
Ohio: This one contains a weapons safety tip: Don’t shoot yourself at a gun demonstration — especially if you are the instructor. A retired police officer in Ohio was showing a class of police recruits how to use a handgun at a firing range when he missed his target and shot himself in the thigh instead.
How embarrassing!
Hastings, MI: A man in Hastings literally took a bite out of crime when he helped himself to a burrito and other snacks at a gas station food store, and then called police on himself after telling the clerk he had no money to pay. Michael Oell, 28, was charged with retail fraud. He told police what little money he did have, he had spent at a nearby tavern.
So, why are we surprised that booze was involved!
