Philadelphia, PA: A Philly man was sentenced in July to up to three months in jail for intentionally vomiting on another spectator and his 11 year old daughter at a Phillies baseball game. Matthew Celmmens, 21, of Cherry Hill, NJ, had pleaded guilty in May to charges of assault, harassment and disorderly conduct. Clemmens admitted he stuck his finger down his throat and vomited on Michael Vangelo and his daughter. Clemmens will be on probation for two years after he serves his jail sentence.
BAAAARRFFF…. NASTY BUZZARD!
Rock Hill, SC: A 30 year old South Carolina driver complained her car was running a bit “rugged, ” suddenly stopping and and starting. Mechanics found the problem. Someone had squeezed a cheeseburger and a pickle into her gas tank. $1,000! That was the cost of her repairs.
Good thing fries didn’t come with it…
Mansfield , OH: Pushing while drunk. A drunken Ohio man was arrested for pushing his two young sons in a stroller. Steven Melendez, 24, went to pick up a money order near his home when a concerned neighbor called 911. police arrested the besotted father. Melendez faces charges of endangering the welfare of his children and public intoxication.
HIC!
Northern Virginia: Congressman Dan Lungren (R-Calif) was paying more attention to sex offenders than to his own speed. Lungren was giving a telephone interview to a Sacramento radio station about legislation to track international sex offenders when he was pulled over by police for speeding in Northern Virgina, outside Washington, D.C. Lungren, who was speaking on a hands free telephone device was let off with a warning.
Wonder if those House of Representatives credentials helped lead to just a warning?
Atlanta, GA: He may have been the world’s greediest robber. This fellow held up a Wendy’s restaurant in Atlanta and got away with $586. He then called the restaurant twice to complain it wasn’t enough money. “Next time, there had better be more,” he said.
The headline read: “He just wanted more lettuce.” Ha, ha, ha…
