Birdsong's Law Blog

Florida: Here’s one about dirty money.  A DWI and drug suspect in
Florida surprised police when $45 fell out of his behind during a strip search.  Nicholas Harris, 19, who initially denied he had any cash on him was described by police as being like a human ATM machine.

KA-CHING!

United Kingdom: It has been reported that a model in England was recently arrested for receiving several thousand dollars in welfare benefits while working as the host of a TV porno show.  The host gig paid her $6,000 a month.  Her name, Lori Buckby.  Allegedly she was caught when welfare workers saw her on the TV show.  She was fined $1,500 and lost her right to welfare benefits.

Should we ask, who got screwed here?

Sweden: How about this excuse for driving drunk.  A woman in Sweden was arrested for DWI after leaving a dinner party.  She tried talking her way out of the ticket by contending she had no choice but to flee in her car when the dinner host claimed that beverages would be served and they would be followed by group sex.   Said excuse did not work.

Perhaps, she believed group sex would have been too filling!

Detroit, MI:  Did you ever hear the news that Detroit is a tough place.  Here’s confirmation.  Recently, someone stole

Florida:  The headline read: “This Florida woman had a beef with WalMart.”  Arlene Kahn bought ground beef there and was shocked to find two prescription sleeping pills in the meat as she started preparing beef Stroganoff.  She called police, who said there was no crime and they could do nothing to help her.  However, the WalMart store gave her a $40 gift certificate.

…had a beef with WalMart, yuk, yuk,yuk…

Collier City, FL: Rev. T.J. McCormick, leader of the Coastal Community Church, lived 50 feet above the ground, atop a mechanical crane,vowing not to come down until 1,000 backpacks with school supplies were donated to the children of Collier City.  In three days locals filled the 1,000 backpacks and McCormick came down.

How did he go to the bathroom for those three days?

Ormond Beach, FL:  In late August, 2010, a man on a motorcycle pulled into a drive through lane at a Bank America branch in mid afternoon in Ormond Beach.  The motocyclist sent a small package with a note on it through the teller chute.  The note indicated that the package was a bomb and the man wanted money. 

Upper Marlboro, MD: The New York Post reports this story:  Getting into a car accident was bad enough, but what happened to a Maryland man at the hospital was even worse.  Joseph Wheeler woke up in an Upper Marlboro hospital to find that he had been misidentified and was being prepped for lung cancer surgery!  It appears the nurse refused to believe he had been in an accident.  Wheeler tried to leave but guard assaulted him to stop him from leaving.  it is now reported that Wheeler is suing the hospital for more than $10 million.

He’ll settle for $1 million and be satisfied… he still has both lungs.

Portland, OR:  Two Portland men were arrested recently for shoplifting from a store while it was holding a police charity event called Shop with a Cop.  There were at least 30 officers at the Fred Meyer store when Shane Alexander and Jason Vantress were spotted allegedly leaving with the loot and were promptly arrested.

Oooops…

Canada: Seems as if marijuana growers in Canada have been using bears to protect their crops, however, the well fed animals are often apparently dazed and confused on the job.  Police discovered the bear guards while dismantling two large outdoor plots of marijuana in British Columbia.  Police report the bears did little to protect the pot from police.

Well of course not!  The bears were stoned!  They had been eating the pot….

Mexico:  Here’s a funny one reported on the post Wire Services.  Bandits in Mexico were paid peanuts. Two men who hijacked a truck at gunpoint

Elma, WA: A couple entered a home in Elma and undressed.  They then made a sex video.  When the neighbor of the vacationing homeowners stopped by to pick up the mail, the porn stars fled, leaving their camera behind.  Police studied ( and studied) the X-rated evidence and arrested the woman.  They are still looking for the man.

Lust is something…

Germany: A German bank robber was  arrested after emailing police and two newspapers to point out factual errors in their reports concerning his robberies.  The 19 year old mocked the police for getting his age, height and accent wrong, and then pointed out the he had escaped in a car and not on foot.

DUMBKOPFT!

Buffalo, NY:  How about this.  It is reported that a bank robber forgot to put on his mask during the heist.  The robber walked into an HSBC branch in August with a construction dust mask around his neck, leaving his face