Birdsong's Law Blog

Pennsylvania: The New York Post called it a “Crime of Fashion.”  Kyle Eckman, a Pennsylvania, man, was caught trying to shoplift a pair of high heel pumps after he put them on and attempted to casually walk out of  a women’s shoe store.  Keen eyed employees watched Eckman as he brazenly tottered in the size 10 shoes.  the shoes were recovered.  No word on whether an arrest was made.

Wonder if the high heel pumps looked good on him?

Erie, PA:  Here’s another weird one from Pennsylvania.  Ricky Scott, 38, was caught and marked as a dirty criminal for allegedly stealing $86 worth of body soap from an Erie convenience store.

Splish Splash…guess who needed a bath….

England: Three teenagers from Hull, England, scammed cash by  advising people they needed sponsors for participating in a charity run.  Of course, they had no intention of even taking part in the event.  A judge fashioned a novel sentence for them after they were caught — they were made to complete the 10 mile run with police watching their every stride.

Pant, Pant….

Pittsburgh, PA: A man accidentally set fire to his house while burning photos of his former girlfriend.  the 33 year old man and his new girlfriend were in the house when the burning photos ignited other objects in the house.

Sounds like some kind of  weird poetic justice.

Clarence, NY:  A man seeking to score some drugs in upstate New York

Another of Professor Birdsong’s favorite studentss, Chris Cortolillo, has written an interesting paper on child soldiers who seek asylum in the United States.  Read it and learn something about the topic.

Between a Rock and a Hard Place: The Challenges Facing Former Child Soldiers of the War on Terror in Seeking Asylum in the United States.

Ocean City, MD:  This was one big baby! Joseph DiVanna, 47, got drunk on Halloween and decided to go out trick or treating.  His costume?  He wore a diaper.  He allegedly shouted profanities at adults and children who would not give him candy. We learn police arrested him for disorderly conduct.

IDIOT!

Washington, DC:  The U.S. Secret Service recently reported that computers and printers are putting highly skilled counterfeiters out of business.  ”There really is no craftsmanship or workmanship in this anymore,” said

Gardenerville, NV:  We learn that Ms, Misty McCollister, 35, will soon be sentenced after pleading guilty to attempted child abuse and neglect in Gardnerville.  She had been arrested near her home after a witness reported seeing her car weaving in and out of its lane and varying its speed.  The problem?  Her 12 year old son was behind the wheel because Misty was too drunk to drive.

…so dangerous…it wasn’t even nightfall yet!  Mommy needed a time out.

Trenton, NJ: Those low-slung pants men wear these days can sometimes be a real problem.  A fellow out for a good time at a dance club in Trenton exchanged angry words with several foes in the club who pulled out knives.  The outnumbered fellow

One of Professor Birdsong’s favorite students who writes under the “nom de plume,” Hal Horn, has written a satirical piece about our economic and moral plight which  is a very interesting and thought provoking read.  Jonathan Swift would be proud of this. Read and enjoy.

A Simple Solution Set to the Economic and Moral Plight of the American Republic

Written By: Hal Horn      Edited by: Kanjo Sodes

            The American Republic has come to the precipice of a great quandary regarding the direction in which the nation must take in order to remain a global sovereign, economic leader, and a beacon of moral virtue. As national debt spirals out of control, our mortal enemies are frothing at the mouth for the simplest of chances to attack our way of life. Americans are petrified, and with absolute good reason! One must not look far in this country to find a socialist who wishes to bring down our free market, a terrorist wishing to destroy the American ideal, a mother who wishes to murder her innocent unborn child, or even a homosexual who wishes to force his singular life choice onto the ever tolerant masses, let alone the immigrants who would like nothing more then to infiltrate this country in order to destroy the basis of our free civilization: quality vegetables at affordable prices.

            We are a nation founded on Christian principles; on moral principles which for two hundred and eight years reigned supreme -keeping our fair nation in God’s good graces. Yet, our great nation is at cross-roads in which we must be a people of action! In order to prevent the complete degradation of our ideals and values, we must redefine what it means to be an American. We must redefine what it is we stand for, so it can be understood by others then our treasonous liberal elite.

            I have pondered this great dilemma ad-nauseum, and I feel that I have reached a series of solutions which, if enacted, would preserve our great way of life. I have spent many an hour wracked with a sense of hopelessness as I have heard proposed actions which have always fell short of their intended purpose. Our Constitution, a brilliant rigid, inelastic and unchanging document, has been misinterpreted for far too long. It is time we take back the reigns of an