Iowa: We have learned that Iowa corrections officials are starting to stock their prisons with toilet paper made in house by the inmates. While conceding that the tissue is not “fluffy” to the touch they say it will be good enough to save the state $100,000 a year.
Sounds like “touch and go” to us…
Jacksonville, FL: A gas station clerk was fired from his $7.50 an hour job after helping to catch a robber. Keith Ireland was reportedly fired for leaving his work area without permission after he chased the robber’s vehicle to get a clear view of the license number. No word on any arrest yet.
Yep, this story proves why we call it Flori-DUH!
Lake Wales, FL: Another one from Florida. A Tennessee man was arrested for allegedly trying to deliver 83 jars of homemade moonshine whisky to a Lake Wales restaurant named “Cowboys.” It is reported that the head “cowgirl” at the joint was also arrested on a liquor license violation.
We wonder how much 83 jars of moonshine whisky is worth these days?
Martinsville, IN: We learn that a 26 year old man was arrested after mistakenly texting a local prosecutor with an offer to purchase illegal pills. The messages read, “Roxy twenties fifteen” and “hey buddy just wonderin if you needed any fortys,” which is code for oxycontin and other prescription drugs.
What an Idiot!!
Old Bridge, NJ: Seems as if churches around the country are fitting their Baby Jesus statues with GPS trackers to keep them from being stolen out of nativity scenes. “There has been no attempt at theft since we announced that we were tracking our Jesus,” contended Alan Czyewski of St. Ambrose Church in Old Bridge.
Jesus tracked to the 40th parallel…
Czech Republic: Police officials here, seeking to slow down traffic, installed life-size cardboard cutouts of policewomen in miniskirts, but men motorists got distracted and accident rates began to rise. The officials had thought the fake policewomen would be cheaper then hiring real police.
Sometimes the police just can’t catch a break.
