GEORGIA: We learn that police in Statesboro have found the town’s beloved “fork in the road.” The 7-foot-tall, 150 pound steel sculpture had stood as a bolted down landmark for a local business whose owner would direct customers to “look for the fork in the road.” The fork was found leaning on a telephone pole outside of town.
I don’t give a fine tine!
MICHIGAN: A female custodian at Campus Elementary School in Grand Rapids was fired for allegedly offering to pay two fourth graders $1 each to beat up another student. The targeted student had allegedly made disparaging remarks about the custodian.
Grade school fight club….
OKLAHOMA: A burglar was arrested by police in Oklahoma City after he stopped to take a dump in the homeowner’s bathroom and forgot to flush the toilet. Detectives obtained a DNA sample from feces that was left on toilet paper and linked it to Charles Williams, 20.
The headline read: “The Burglar’s crime really stank.”
MICHIGAN: A judge in Lansing fined a cell phone user for contempt of court. Judge Hugh Clarke, Jr. fined himself $50 after his own cell phone rang during a sentencing hearing. He said his integrity was at stake after he had ordered everyone in attendance to turn off their cell phones.
Ironic, no?
