TEXAS: Tinkle, tinkle little star… Daniel Athens, 23, of El Paso must pay a $4,000 fine and could have faced up to 10 months in jail after pleading guilty to urinating on the Alamo – a felony crime! Athens was tackled by a member of the Alamo rangers after ducking under a barrier chain in front of the San Antonio landmark to get close enough to urinate on the façade.
VIRGINIA: What a load of bull! Police in Mount Solon have put out an all-points bulletin after someone stole a load of bull semen. Police said 10 containers of the semen – worth up to $500 on the black market – were taken from a barn. Police also report if the thieves didn’t store the semen in liquid nitrogen, it could be ruined.
PENNSYLVANIA: The headline read: Nails of steal.” A few Sundays ago a salon worker painted a man’s nails just before closing time, only to have the customer turn around, hold the workers and gunpoint and demand cash. “It’s pretty nervy to sit in a nail salon and actually get a manicure and then produce a gun and announce a robbery,” said Malachi Jones of the Philadelphia Police Department. The robber is still at large. Police are looking for a suspect with manicured fingernails.
VERMONT: Speed “demon” irony? A 33-year-old driver was stopped by police in the town of Royalton for going 112 mph. The driver told the officer that he was speeding because he was late for his court appearance for a previous speeding violation. Nevertheless, the driver was charged with excessive speeding and negligent operation of a motor vehicle.
