NORTH CAROLINA: OOOOOUUCCHHH!!! A 51-year-old resident has been charged with assault and malicious castration after she bit her boyfriend’s testicles during a domestic dispute. The police report reveals that the alleged victim required eight stitches, but suffered no long term damage.
OREGON: The headline read: “Con err.” A man tried to get out of a possible traffic ticket by calling 911 and reporting a fake shooting while the officer was distracted. Salvador Sanchez, 42, thought he could get the officer to leave the scene of his traffic stop. However, the 911 call he had place was traced right back to his cell phone.
ARIZONA: Right back to jail you go, you idiot! A Phoenix man just released from county jail on drug charges ran laps around the facility to celebrate his freedom – then tried to carjack a truck belonging to the jail, police said. He was arrested when police saw him on surveillance cameras trying to start a marked truck parked at the jails loading dock.
SCOTLAND: Yes, he really had to go… A driving instructor led police on a 120-mph chase because he was desperate to get to a toilet. The 49-year-old man stepped on the gas after seeing police and then frantically pulled into a diner. He later claimed he sped up not to evade police – but because he didn’t want to “soil himself” while driving.
