Weird Criminal Law Stories #477: Cardboard box headed thief?

ALASKA: Cardboard box headed thief? Authorities report that a man in Anchorage has been robbing businesses at knifepoint – with a cardboard box on his head. The bandit robbed two liquor stores and a filling station last week. “Some goofball wearing a cardboard box with two eye hole punched out came in threatened her,” said Kevin Wright, whose girlfriend was working at the gas station at the time.

 

ARIZONA: The headline revealed that this drug deal was “dead on arrival.” Customs agents recently stopped a hearse travelling near Tombstone, and found 67 pounds of marijuana hidden in the casket – along with animal manure intended to throw off drug-sniffing dogs, officials report. The 28-year-old American driver was arrested over possession of the contraband, worth an estimate $33,000.

 

 

CALIFORNIA: Gluten Free Meth? A police department in Newark California is offering to make sure drug users’ crystal meth is gluten free. The police department posted a photo on Facebook showing some crystal meth and a glass pipe with the caption: “Is your meth laced with deadly gluten? Not sure? Bring your meth down to the PD and we will test it for you for free!” It has been reported that no one has taken up the friendly offer.

 

 

CALIFORNIA: Did the teacher have to go? It has been reported that an eighth-grader at the Jack G. Desmond Middle School in the town of Madera has been suspended for slipping eight laxatives into a teacher’s coffee in mid-May, according to officials. The student may also face criminal charges even though none of the pills dissolved or were ingested, officials said.

 

CHINA: He tried to sober up with grass? A drunken driver was so drunk when he rolled his Mercedes up to a police checkpoint, he got out of the car and starting scarfing down grass on the side of the road, authorities report. “I wasn’t drinking! I wasn’t driving!” the man yelled. Of course, it did not help. Test showed his blood-alcohol content was well over the legal limit.

 

COLOMBIA: Follow the money? A Colombian woman swallowed $7,000 in U.S. currency to keep it from her husband in a bitter divorce dispute. In terrible pain the woman went to Santander University Hospital in Bucaramanga – where doctors removed $5,700 from her stomach. “The dollar notes were washed and are in good condition, but the rest of the money was lost because of the gastric fluids,” said a surgeon.