CHINA: Lin Chen, a 67 year old woman who lives in Ningbo, who believed that police were not doing enough to stop speeding drivers on her street came up with a brilliant idea. She tied a blow up sex doll to a tree outside her house. This prompted drivers to slow down to gawk and wonder why. Police contend that since the doll went up, traffic accidents have gone down.
FLORIDA: A drunken man showed up at a County jail to visit his girlfriend then refused a deputy sheriff’s instruction to depart at the end of his visit with her. The man said he would not leave and told the deputy that he would have to arrest him to get rid of him. That is just what the deputy did – arrest him. Now he is closer to his girlfriend.
BAD BREAK BUT HE’LL GET THREE HOTS AND A COT!
GEORGIA: A 340 pound woman pepper sprayed and spit on employees at a Piggly Wiggly grocery store in Athens after they tried to stop her from stealing bacon, cheese, chicken and beer, police said. Lonneshia Appling,26, also punched a store clerk in the face as she left the store dropping cans of Coors Light.
SOUNDS LIKE SHE WAS PREPARING A “MOVABLE FEAST.”
PENNSYLVANIA: A man in Peters Township left his bag of marijuana and
FLORIDA: A police officer already facing trial for stealing drugs got himself in more trouble when he ripped off his ankle monitor while out on bail and visited a strip club. Brent Wooddell was located and taken into custody at the Cheetah strip club in Pompano Beach.
BRENT, YOU CAN’T “CHEAT” THE ANKLE MONITOR PEOPLE.
OHIO: A report out of Toledo maintains that an armed man dressed up like Darth Vader robbed a bank carrying a handgun. The robber escaped on a BMX bicycle, according to police.
THE ROBBER MAY HAVE TOLD THE TELLER I AM YOUR FATHER…
FLORIDA: A man suspected of stealing merchandise from a Panama City store was
BRAZIL: A man held up a sex shop in Brasilia, walking out with a $4,000 gold plated vibrator. The clerk, noting, the bandit forgot the charger, said, “I really don’t know what he”ll do with it. I’ll leave it to his imagination.”
SOUNDS LIKE NO BBBBZZZZZZZZZZ…..
TENNESSEE: It has been reported that a golfer in the state recently hit a hole in one – however the “hole” being the mouth of a wife of a passing motorcyclist. The poor golfer badly hooked a 14th hole tee shot onto a highway where it bounced and hit a woman motorcyclist riding with her husband. Several teeth were knocked out and she received hospital treatment.
NO CITATION WAS ISSUED BUT WE SMELL LAW SUIT…
IDAHO: A courthouse was evacuated when a suspicious package showed up and
FLORIDA: It has been reported that residents of Jacksonville had better be careful if they need to go to court. Why? The area’s new county courthouse has failed fire safety tests for the second year in a row. The problem is so bad officials are considering closing the place and reopening the old county courthouse.
DON’T YELL FIRE IN THE NEW COURTHOUSE…
FLORIDA: A woman was arrested on domestic violence charges for allegedly beating, choking and scratching her boyfriend after he said no when she asked him to marry her. Nikoleta Karoly, 24, had reportedly been hoping that getting married would get her a green card. She is quite upset that she might get deported.
WITH A TEMPER LIKE HER’S DEPORTATION IS BEST…
FLORIDA: Here we go again. Another Florida woman tried to use nail polish to
Professor Birdsong teaches Criminal Law, White Collar Crime, Evidence, Federal Jurisdiction, and Immigration Law at Barry School of Law.