Birdsong's Law Blog

Weymouth, MA: Massachusetts police were on poop patrol after they got a search warrant to inspect the bowel movements of a suspect who had allegedly swallowed a huge stash of drugs.  After the suspect was taken to the hospital, Weymouth police combed through his fecal matter and found seven bags of heroin, eleven bags of cocaine and two bags of crack.

Phew!  What a load.

Milwaukee, WI: A 21 year old Milwaukee man was trying to be funny by wearing a ski mask to his mother’s house and pretending to rob her.  But his 37 year old mother took the prank seriously — she pulled out  her .357 and shot him.  His wounds are not life-threatening.  Neither went to jail.

Ninny!  It is not nice to fool your mother like that.

Lowell, MA: A truck-driver crashed into a house in Lowell Mass., when he gagged on Wendy’s chili. 

Georgia: A preteen snitch sent his mom to jail after she forced him to kill his beloved pet hamster with a hammer after the boy got bad grades. The 12-year old told his teacher about the grisly punishment and she contacted children social services. The mom faces a charge of animal cruelty, child cruelty and battery.

Who was the bigger rat? The hamster, the mom or the boy? You choose.

Tennessee: Talk about criminal child abuse! Read this one. A Tennessee woman was arrested after getting her 11-year old son to commit armed robbery at the financial services offices where she once worked. As Angela Evans waited in the getaway car, her son walked in with a stocking mask over his face, held a gun to a woman’s head and took $480. Evans gave him $20 as his cut of the proceeds.

Bad mommy!  Baaaaad mommy!

Sheboygan, WI: A naked bid for leniency just did not work. Julia Laack, 36, of Sheboygan was sentenced to six months in jail for shoplifting. When police went to her home, the drunken Laack stripped down to her

Birdsong has been bringing you weird criminal law stories for a year and a half now.  Hope you have had a few laughs from reading them. Here is edition number 100.  What a milestone.  Enjoy.

Turkey: A stitch in time saves five for a Turkish woman charged with slicing off her lover’s penis.  That’s because a court has put off sentencing her for 18 months to see if the man’s reattached penis still functions.  If it does, she will get three years in jail.  If it does not, she will get eight years.  She gave him the cruelest cut because he broke a promise to marry her, and forced her into prostitution.

YOOOUCH!

Austria: An Austrian man was hit with a $100 fine when he farted loudly while being questioned by police, causing passers-by to break into hysterics, humiliating the police officers.  “This was no accident.  He clearly intended to make a laughingstock out of officers and deserved what he got,” said a police spokesman.

POOT….

Austin, TX : A Texas man got a 30 day jail sentence for contempt of court after criticizing a judge in a courthouse men’s room.  State District Judge Jack Robinson ordered 69 year old Don Bandelman released following two days in jail after a state appeals court in Austin made inquiries into the