Birdsong's Law Blog

BRAZIL: A man held up a sex shop in Brasilia, walking out with a $4,000 gold plated vibrator.  The clerk, noting, the bandit forgot the charger, said, “I really don’t know what he”ll do with it.  I’ll leave it to his imagination.”

                   SOUNDS LIKE NO BBBBZZZZZZZZZZ…..

 TENNESSEE: It has been reported that a golfer in the state recently hit a hole in one – however the “hole” being the mouth of a wife of a passing motorcyclist. The poor golfer badly hooked a 14th hole tee shot onto a highway where it bounced and hit a woman motorcyclist riding with her husband.  Several teeth were knocked out and she received hospital treatment.

          NO CITATION WAS ISSUED BUT WE SMELL LAW SUIT…

IDAHO: A courthouse was evacuated when a suspicious package showed up and

Manhattan, NY: Dawud Yadullah, a former convict, has filed suit in in federal court against an upstate New York prison nurse.  Allegedly, the nurse, Judith Lovelace, sent him back to his cell after medication side effects gave him a erection that would not go away. Yadullah says he suffered a painful erection for 55 hours before finally getting hospital treatment to relieve the problem in his pants. Yadullah, 43, claims nurse Lovelace’s diagnostic foul-up left him “irreparably injured” with “severe damage to his penis, including erectile dysfunction, inability to ejaculate and pain during intercourse.”  The Manhattan Federal court suit does not specify damages but demands “stiff” punishment for Lovelace’s “cruel and uncivilized conduct.”

This certainly gives new meaning to “doing hard time.”

Warren, MI: The fur was flying near Detroit when police used a stun gun — on  a large stuffed cat.  A 911 caller caller in Warren reported seeing a 150 pound cougar in a drain pipe.  Cops thought they, too, saw a big cat and zapped it — only to learn it was a toy.

All of these folks need new glasses.

Bexar County, TX: Courtrooms can be such a drag some say.  A Texas defense attorney was busted in a hall of justice for allegedly carrying  marijuana and a pipe

Birdsong brings you a few more funny and weird crim law stories..

Detroit, MI:  As much as everyone dislikes the IRS this is still nasty.  An employee at the tax service’s Detroit office had been urinating in a freight elevator for months causing $4,600 in cleanup costs.  Treasury agents said Michael Hicks did it “because he felt he could get away with it.”  He has been charged with damaging federal property.

Imagine how much more it might’ve cost if he also had decided to poop…

Missouri: A soldier has gotten out of bigamy charges after claiming that he suffered post traumatic stress disorder in Iraq — and forgot that he was married when he got home.  William Rivera got a new bride in Missouri after the war — and his original wife found out about it when she saw a feature story about his second marriage on TV.  Rivera told officials he was so haunted by the war, he thought he had been divorced.  All charges against him were dropped.

Bet his new wife ain’t very happy!

Birdsong brings you more weird criminal law stories…

Aloha, OR: An Oregon man spent Memorial Day of 2009, in jail after dialing 911 to complain that a McDonald’s worker was rude and did not give him an orange juice he ordered.  Raibin Osman, 20, was arrested for improper use of the emergency telephone number.  Sheriff’s Sgt. David Thompson said Osman ignored deputies who told him the emergency number wasn’t to be used for straightening out fast food orders.  A McDonald’s employee also called 911 during the incident to complain that Osman and the people with him were blocking the drive-thru lane.

Dumbkopf!

Tampa, FL: Police in Tampa arrested a man who was so drunk he  had his 12 year old son drive home.  Unfortunately,