Birdsong's Law Blog

Washington, D.C.: Federal agents arrested a man for allegedly trying to smuggle 4 pounds of cocaine through Washington’s Dulles Airport using powdered soup packets.  A dog sniffed him out.

The headlines read: ” How he got into hot water.” Yuk, yuk, yuk…

Wayland, NY:  This one is about a drunk who got arrested for DWI on a snowmobile — in June.  Police in upstate New York arrested Carl Kruchten  for drunk driving after he took his snowmobile and rode it through his neighbors back yards, tearing the yards to pieces.

HIC!

France: We have learned that U.S. subway fare beaters are not nearly as bad as the French.  It is reported that jumping the turnstile is so common in France,

Alliance, OH: She needed a matchmaker not 911.  A woman desperate to find a husband called the local 911 number five times asking authorities to find her a husband.  “You need to get a husband?” a confused operator asked the woman who responded: “Yes, let’s do it.”  What Audrey Scott, 57, got was three days in jail — and no husband.

Could she have been drunk?  You think!

Pennsylvania: Troy Alvin, a convicted murderer, willed his TV, radio and his corpse to the judge that convicted him in the case.  The will attempt did not succeed.  Judge Edward Smith quashed the will because he said it was just an attempt by Alvin to get him off the case for a conflict of interest.

Alvin was no Perry Mason.

Kalamazoo, MI: Patrons at a Wendy’s drive-through in Kalamazoo got mad after their order wasn’t filled to their satisfaction, so they hurled drinks,

Vassalboro, ME: Maine police are hunting for a man who allegedly burned down the topless coffee shop where his girlfriend worked.  The blaze was set hours after the shop’s owner told the Town Council of Vassalboro that he planned to convert the place into strip club.  At last report, the suspect, Raymond Bellavance, 49, was still at large.

What a boob! I’ll bet alcohol was involved. Speaking of alcohol….

Lancaster, NY: In a strange case of law and order, a western New York man was charged with driving a lawn mower while drunk.  He allegedly had been joyriding on the mower down a busy street in Lancaster with a blood alcohol reading of nearly twice the legal limit.

Did they mean “lawn and order?”

Fort Walton Beach, FL: A 19 year old Fort Walton Beach woman was a passenger in a car driven by a friend who was pulled over for DUI.  That left her stranded, so police agreed to drive her home.  The officer took her to the police station instead,

England: The newspapers call it, “Weekend at Bernie’s 3: Bernie Takes a Holiday.”  Two women were arrested at an airport in England for trying to smuggle the corpse of a 91 year old man aboard a plane headed to Germany.  They had put the man, a relative of theirs, in a wheelchair and put sunglasses on him.

Poor ol’ Bernie…

Georgia: An inmate who broke out of a Georgia jail, and then returned after stealing 14 packs of smokes, has been sentenced to 20 more years behind bars.  Harry Jackson, 26, had been jailed for driving with a suspended license, but now adds burglary and escape to his rap sheet.

Another reminder of how smoking is bad for you…

Minnesota: Bloody hell!  Police were called to a Minnesota health club after employees spotted a bearded man covered with blood using the

Pennsylvania: What a doggone shame.  A Pennsylvania court has ruled that a disabled man cannot get extra food stamps to buy chow for his service dog.  James Douris, 55, a wheelchair bound veteran, says his dog should be considered a dependent, but the court ruled state welfare laws make it clear animals don’t count.

Bow wow….

China: We need child protective services on this right away!  A Chinese zoo is taking the heat for letting a 3 year old acrobat walk on a tightrope over a tiger enclosure.  Onlookers were horrified when the girl nearly lost her footing as a strong gust of wind shook her.

Ridiculous…

Florida: Florida police nabbed a man for illegally dumping a boat, by using satellite images from Google Earth.  The images showed the boat at Dwight Everett Roster’s home,