Birdsong's Law Blog

Years ago Birdsong was stationed in Germany as a State Department officer. Here are a few recent weird stories from Germany.  Ja voll.

Birdsong continues to scour the wire services and the internet for those whacky,weird criminal law stories. Here are a few more for you reading delight.

Portland, OR: This granny didn’t need a hatpin. An 88-year old woman in Portland fended off an intruder in her home by grabbing his crouch and squeezing with all of her might. The defensive move forced the man to run out of her house in agony. He was arrested a short while later.
One might say her actions “took real balls.”

Ohio: A 4-year old Ohio boy — angry that his baby sitter accidently stepped on his foot — grabbed his father’s shotgun from a closet and opened fire.  The sitter suffered only minor injuries and the child has not been charged with a crime.  Authorities are investigating whether the parents were negligent.

Negligence my foot!  This kid is on an early start to becoming a sociopath.  He needs to be in reform school.

Portland, ME: In Maine a Portland man was arrested after cops found him drunk and slumped over the wheel of a Zamboni

Birdsong continues to troll the wire services for more of those weird criminal law stories that you love reading.  Dig these:

Pittsburgh, PA: it can be said that these two entrepreneurs were not a bunch of whizzes — or were they? The two pleaded guilty in federal court for selling a device called a “Whizzinator” that helped cheaters pass drug tests.  The device was a prosthetic penis, in various skin colors that came with a heating element and fake urine.  NFL running back Onterrio Smith in 2005 was caught with one of the devices at an airport security screening.

Bet getting caught “pissed him off.”

Framingham, MA:  police in a Massachusetts city are scratching their heads after repeatedly finding chunks of butcher-quality meat lying around the town square. 

More weird criminal law stories brought to you by Birddsong.  Enjoy.

Fayetteville, AR: An Arkansas man is suing McDonald’s after he left his  cellphone – with photos of his nude wife – at one of the burger joints and the hot pix wound up on the Internet.  He’s seeking $3 million claiming the couple must find a new home because of the shame of it all.

Yo! You want fries with that naked lady?

Apex, NC:  Postman Steven Padgett was sentenced to probation by a federal judge after pleading guilty to failing to deliver junk mail for years.

Here are more weird criminal law stories Birdsong has found for your reading enjoyment.  A few of them are from Florida, as well as from around the world.

Florida:  A paraplegic held up a Florida bank in his motorized wheelchair, and then stuffed the cash into his prosthetic leg.  But he had not gotten far when police caught up with him ten minutes later.

In the end he did not have a leg to stand on, ha, ha, ha.

Florida:  Was it a “club sandwich?”  A 19 year old Florida man was charged with battery for hitting his girlfriend in the face with a sandwich while she drove him home.  The blow was so hard,