Birdsong's Law Blog

More weird and funny criminal law stories by birdsongslaw blog.

Des Moines, IA:  Not a leg left to stand on! When police arrested a Des Moines man for stealing an artificial leg, they confiscated the prosthetic limb and left him hobbling.  Rogoberto Zarazua Rubio, who was fitted for the leg at a medical supply store, walked out to take it for a test spin and allegedlynever  returned to pay for it.

He is  now as disadvantaged as the proverbial “one legged man in an ass-kicking contest.”

South Carolina;  Here’s another one.  Officials have exhumed the body of a 6-foot-7 minister after hearing rumors that his legs were cut off because the mortician had ordered a coffin that was too small. 

Birdsong continues to find those weird criminal law stories for your reading enjoyment.  Here are a few that might giver you a chuckle.

Fresno, CA: A California house burglar rubbed spices over the body of a sleeping man before using an 8 inch long sausage to slap the face of another snoozing resident.  Antonio Vasquez fled but was caught in a nearby field after police found his wallet ID in the victims’ home.  The sausage was eaten by a dog after Vasquez tossed it away.

Hmmmm…sounds mighty gay…

Bonita Springs, FL: There’s a bra bandit on the loose.  The Lee County Sheriff’s Office is searching for an individual they say stole 160 bras valued at nearly $6,000 from a Victoria’s Secret store, the latest in a string of bra burglaries

Birdsong has found a few weird criminal law stories involving booze and/or sex.  Take a gander.

South Dakota: A woman driving drunk picked the wrong person to ask for directions.  When she pulled over and knocked on the door of a nearby home, a sheriff’s deputy answered.  The deputy told the 37 year old woman she could not get back behind the wheel of her truck.  A wrestling match ensued.  She lost and was charged with DWI.

Of all the joints in the world why did she have to walk into his?

Birdsong often trolls the wire services for  weird criminal law stories in the news.  Here are a few – enjoy:

May, 2008: An Iowa college student opened fire on police – with M&M’s.

Sean McGuire said he pelted the cops with candy to protest the treatment of a friend who was  being questioned in connection with a hit and run auto accident.

Police officers did not like or understand the “humor,” and McGuire was thrown behind bars…and not the candy kind.

May 2008: More candy!  Do not dispose of evidence in this fashion.

A 15 year old shoplifter was busted for stealing candy bars when police in Bremerton, Washington detected the odor of chocolate on his breath as they questioned him.

The boy denied taking the candy, until the smell gave him away.  He said he took the candy because he was hungry.

Aha! The Jean Valjean defense, once again!