One of Professor Birdsong’s favorite students who writes under the “nom de plume,” Hal Horn, has written a satirical piece about our economic and moral plight which is a very interesting and thought provoking read. Jonathan Swift would be proud of this. Read and enjoy.
A Simple Solution Set to the Economic and Moral Plight of the American Republic
Written By: Hal Horn Edited by: Kanjo Sodes
The American Republic has come to the precipice of a great quandary regarding the direction in which the nation must take in order to remain a global sovereign, economic leader, and a beacon of moral virtue. As national debt spirals out of control, our mortal enemies are frothing at the mouth for the simplest of chances to attack our way of life. Americans are petrified, and with absolute good reason! One must not look far in this country to find a socialist who wishes to bring down our free market, a terrorist wishing to destroy the American ideal, a mother who wishes to murder her innocent unborn child, or even a homosexual who wishes to force his singular life choice onto the ever tolerant masses, let alone the immigrants who would like nothing more then to infiltrate this country in order to destroy the basis of our free civilization: quality vegetables at affordable prices.
We are a nation founded on Christian principles; on moral principles which for two hundred and eight years reigned supreme -keeping our fair nation in God’s good graces. Yet, our great nation is at cross-roads in which we must be a people of action! In order to prevent the complete degradation of our ideals and values, we must redefine what it means to be an American. We must redefine what it is we stand for, so it can be understood by others then our treasonous liberal elite.
I have pondered this great dilemma ad-nauseum, and I feel that I have reached a series of solutions which, if enacted, would preserve our great way of life. I have spent many an hour wracked with a sense of hopelessness as I have heard proposed actions which have always fell short of their intended purpose. Our Constitution, a brilliant rigid, inelastic and unchanging document, has been misinterpreted for far too long. It is time we take back the reigns of an