Weird Criminal Law # 381: Hot stuff at McDonald’s —

November 25th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong

FLORIDA: Have it your way at McDonald’s? We learn that a frisky but inebriated couple was hauled to jail for having sex on the trunk of a car in a McDonald’s parking lot. Police report that Andrea Paulling, 23, and Michael Marin, 22, were kicked out of a Vero Beach McDonald’s after swigging liquor from a bottle, then they got it on outside.


KENTUCKY: Deborah, you are a lunkhead. Certain things you just don’t advertise in public! Police in Kentucky found plenty of “probable cause” to arrest 37-year-old Deborah Asher who they spotted wearing a tee shirt that read: “I love crystal meth.” The Laurel County sheriff’s department arrested her on charges of trafficking meth. We learn that her mug shot shows her still wearing the tee shirt.


LOUISIANA: Big stink??? It has been reported that Police in New Orleans are trying to sniff out a bad guy.  He is a thief that stole 30 air fresheners Read more

Weird Criminal Law # 380: A Super Bowl Feast?

November 18th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong

FLORIDA: Only in Florida, only in Florida… A Volusia County man accused of catching young alligators for a Super Bowl dinner beat the small reptiles to death with a hammer and used a power saw to hack off their tails. These details were contained in a report made by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, whose officers charged Richard Nixie, 30, of DeBary with taking and possessing alligators without a permit tag. The Commission also cited Robert Lewis, 26, Nixie’s neighbor; allegedly he helped skin the gators and prepared the meat for cooking.


ARKANSAS: GIRDLE UP! State officials took over administrative operations at the Little Rock School District February 1, 2015, after the state enforced an unpopular dress code for staff, which mandated that teachers wear underwear and bras to school every day and banned Spandex.


NORTH CAROLINA: Would this have been a “cereal” killing if he had died? A woman mistakenly shot her Fort Bragg soldier husband, Read more

Weird Criminal Law # 379: MEEOOOW!

November 11th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong

OKLAHOMA: But it could be such useful advice! A history teacher was suspended late last year for posting a quote about cats in his classroom. Steven Alcorn could possible lose his job for displaying a sign with the phrase, “In the dark, all cats are gray,” a quote from Benjamin Franklin that encourages young men to sleep with older women. The quote, we learn, is taken from a letter dubbed: “Advice to a Young Man Choosing a Mistress,” which authorities contend was much too racy for school. MEEEOOOWW…


COLORADO: Bang, bang, nitwits. Colorado Springs homeowner Christian Clark, 28, and his buddy Codie Leslie, 23, were drinking and taking target practice in Clark’s makeshift basement shooting gallery. Police were called to the scene after neighbors heard gunfire coming from inside the house. No arrests were made but the police issued citations to the trigger happy young men.


ARIZONA: Who Knew? A chuckleheaded football fan was fired from his dream job working at Super Bowl XLIX, after he posted a photo of himself Read more

Weird Criminal Law # 378: Zimbabwe Sinner!

November 4th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong

ZIMBABWE: Former Rhodes Scholar and Harvard graduate hits the skids…A convicted former Illinois congressman whose prison sentence for bank fraud was commuted by President Clinton in 2001 was arrested last year in Zimbabwe for allegedly making 100 pornographic videos and snapping 2,000 nude photos. Melvin Reynolds, 62, whose political career crashed in 1995 after he was convicted of statutory rape involving a 16-year-old campaign worker was in the African country while serving as a middleman for foreign investors. Possession of pornography is a crime in the country. In addition to pornography charges, Reynolds, a former Rhodes Scholar and a Harvard graduate, was also charged for remaining in the country illegally on an expired visa.


CANADA: The headline read: “What the puck?” Two thieves stole $28,000 worth of hockey sticks from a sporting goods store in Gatineau. Police believe the bandits may be planning to sell the sticks which each retail for a cost of $100. Police have warned hockey buffs in town to keep their eye out for men selling cheap sports gear on the street.


NEW YORK CITY: What kind of idiot wears a teddy-bear hat to an armed robbery? A man dressed in a teddy-bear hat and armed with a large knife tried to rob a woman Read more

Weird Criminal Law # 377:Naked Rage!

October 28th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong

CONNECTICUT: Police labeled it as plain old naked rage… A stripper angry at being stiffed on tips allegedly trashed the Ruby II bar in Bridgeport and assaulted patrons. Fran Ruiz, 28, also threw bottles around and kicked the bouncer in the groin. Witnesses reported that as she was being handcuffed, she spit in the officer’s faces. A real hellcat!


CALIFORNIA: Please let poor old Larry rest in Peace. A man who died in 2012 was mysteriously reappointed to a county board. Layette County officials simply never checked in with Larry Markwood, who died two years earlier, before reappointing him to the industrial-authority board, they admitted. They will be smarter about the reappoint process in the future, Commissioner Vincent Zapotosky promised.


CALIFORNIA: A cross cross-dresser on a rampage? Why? A man in a leopard print bikini top and black skirt rampaged through a San Diego Denny’s restaurant earlier this year, sending patrons scurrying as he hurled glasses, a skillet and utensils. It was revealed that the cross cross-dresser, who thought his cell phone had been stolen, went on the rampage when a manager turned down his request to check the restaurant surveillance footage. Police were called, but there is no information whether an arrest was made.


NEBRASKA: Yes, another drunken dummy! A man was arrested for drunken driving after police noticed him driving down the road with four flat tires and an inflated air bag. Richard Cruz, 47, allegedly tried to make a break to get away, put the lack of air in his tires made it impossible. Omaha police charged Cruz with his fourth DUI and took him to jail.