Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 422: Really nailed it!

ENGLAND: He really “nailed” this job! A British house builder had to be rescued from the roof of a home in the city of Essex in October after he nailed his hand to a wooden rafter. The unnamed 30-year-old had been using a high powered nail gun at the time of the accident. The woebegone man spent 45 minutes on the roof before he was rescued by firefighters.


NEW MEXICO: Oh, how quickly can the worms turn… An awkward thief found himself getting “held up” at gunpoint after his victims cornered him with their possession in his car. We learn that when Albuquerque police arrived they found a 66-year-old woman and her 70-year-old husband both pointing guns at the man who had allegedly burglarized their home and tried to make off with their belongings. The police revealed that 26-year-old Aaron Lujan had been released from jail one day earlier.


FLORIDA: Gone in 60 seconds… After a teen was sentenced to probation for auto theft, he left the court house with a sheath of legal papers. Those same documents were later found by police in the front (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 421: Hard Time???

ENGLAND: The headline read: “This guy is facing some hard time.” Authorities say they got a rise when they discovered an illicit stash of half a million pills for erectile dysfunction in a house in suburban London. They arrested the 37-year-old man there for possessing unauthorized medication.

ENGLAND: Dicey spicy? Four homes in Manchester had to be evacuated after a neighbor cooking an extremely spicy chili sent caustic fumes throughout the neighborhood. A group of college students getting ready for a Halloween party thought there was a gas leak when they rushed outside because of the toxic air, only to find their neighbor apologizing to everyone in the neighborhood.


FLORIDA: What kind of dance was it? We learn a young man was having a good time dancing on the top of a parked Hillsborough County sheriff’s police car (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 420: For lack of a bell!

CANADA: Busted for the lack of a bell and more! Police in Edmonton pulled over a cyclist to cite him for riding on the sidewalk and not having a bell on his bike. During the stop, a knife fell out of the 25-year-old’s pants and an ensuing search turned up a sawed off shotgun and drugs in his backpack. Police say he is now facing weapons and drug charges along with a ticket for not having a bell on his bike.


SWEDEN: Come on – you got to be kidding me on this one! A woman mistakenly taken by police from her home to a psychiatric hospital ended up with a $60 bill for the blunder. One of her neighbors in the town of Kalmar had called an emergency-service number and expressed suicidal thoughts. After the mistake was cleared up the woman still received an invoice for $60 for her hospital visit.


SAUDI ARABIA: Seems someone was planning a big beer bash! Saudi customs authorities discovered 48,000 cans of illegal beer (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 419:Down the Toilet

OREGON: The headline read: “Crime career down the toilet.” A woman wanted on identity theft charges was arrested in the town of Eugene after a construction worker found her hiding beneath the lid of a portable toilet. Dawn Shockey, 27, who had two warrants for her arrest ran when police tried to speak to her on a Saturday morning. (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 418: XXX

FLORIDA: XXX… We learn that a High-schooler is fighting expulsion after local education officials discovered information about his after school job – acting in adult films. Robert M said Cocoa High School had no right to expel him from school because he legally performed as an 18-year-old and he did the work off campus.


FLORIDA: Look, this was open and shut case! A man set off a three-hour evacuation of the Daytona Beach Police Department recently when a he dropped off a briefcase for a detective without explanation and walked out. Fortunately, the briefcase was only filled with papers and not a bomb as some had feared.



OREGON: A mother’s job is never done. A mother was sentenced to 30 days in jail for trying to smuggle (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 415: Paving His Highway to Heaven

MISSOURI: Perhaps he was really paving his highway to heaven. A man apologized for building a patio out of the gravestones of dead war veterans. The unidentified homeowner in Ozark County said he got the gravestones from a nearby landfill after they were abandoned by a local monument maker. “I was just making something out of nothing. Ninety percent of them are broken. They were never in a cemetery,” he said, adding that he plans to dismantle the patio.


FLORIDA: CHOMP! A 32-year-old man was arrested and charged with aggravated battery in august after authorities said he bit off the tip of a woman’s middle finger after she waved it in his face during (more…)

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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books