Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 479: Happy Mother’s Day….

OREGON: Happy Mother’s Day – Bang, Bang… Two brothers got into it at a barbeque for their mother on Mother’s Day, 2017, with one pulling out a rifle and opening fire on the other in the town of Lebanon. Billy Jack Gomez was arrested for attempted murder for shooting at, but missing his brother Hunter.     MICHIGAN: Headline: “Courthouse security working the metal detector went ape!” The story is about the courthouse in Bay City – when they found a live monkey in a woman’s bag. “I pushed the button for it to go through when the bag started making noises,” said Sheriff’s Deputy Pat McIver. “I was like, ‘What was that?’” Linda Stevenson said it was her squirrel
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 478: RUFF JUSTICE…

FLORIDA: The headline said it was “Ruff justice.”  Police were summoned to arrest a pizza-parlor burglar found inside the business. Police say they asked the alleged burglar, identified as Joseph Pellegrini, at Hungry Howie’s in Winter Haven to step out – or face a police dog. Pellegrini decided to stay put. Minutes later K9 Recon entered, bit him on the leg and, after a struggle, the suspect was quietly arrested. Ruff, Ruff…     MICHIGAN: Fishy Story… A thief snatched several fish from a protected river – then tried to flee the scene on a unicycle, wildlife officials report. The thief was hauling a stringer full of bass when police pulled over his odd getaway vehicle near Battle Creek. Yes,
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Weird Criminal Law Stories #477: Cardboard box headed thief?

ALASKA: Cardboard box headed thief? Authorities report that a man in Anchorage has been robbing businesses at knifepoint – with a cardboard box on his head. The bandit robbed two liquor stores and a filling station last week. “Some goofball wearing a cardboard box with two eye hole punched out came in threatened her,” said Kevin Wright, whose girlfriend was working at the gas station at the time.   ARIZONA: The headline revealed that this drug deal was “dead on arrival.” Customs agents recently stopped a hearse travelling near Tombstone, and found 67 pounds of marijuana hidden in the casket – along with animal manure intended to throw off drug-sniffing dogs, officials report. The 28-year-old American driver was arrested over
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 475: Weirdo!

UTAH: Weirdo…. A man sued the state of Utah for the right to “marry” his laptop computer. Chris Sevier claims that if same-sex marriage is Constitutional he should be allowed to marry his computer. In response to the suit Assistant Attorney General David Wolf wrote: “Simply put, marrying a laptop computer or multiple partners are not rights protected by the Constitution.   WASHINGTON: High on Glade? A Seattle motorist who went berserk after rear-ending a police car said he was high – on Glade air-freshener fumes, police said. The man, questioned near Sea-Tac International Airport, reportedly snatched his passport from investigators. He also defied commands, stripped and when asked if he had been huffing a can of Glade found in
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 474: “Shoot it off”

WISCONSIN: The headline read: “The schlong and short of it.” A man arguing with his wife over watching Internet pornography threatened to shoot off his own penis, according to police. “If I’m not using it, I might as well shoot it off,” said Robert Ahorner, 57, of the town of East Troy. According to police. Ahorner went into another room, fired four shots from his handgun into a wall to scare his wife. The wife called police and he was promptly arrested for reckless use of a firearm.   UNITED KINGDOM: The headline read: “Justice for Bessy!” British police have launched a manhunt for a pervert seen “committing a sexual act” on a cow in Hertfordshire early one Saturday in
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 473:Why he prefers grandma

SOUTH CAROLINA: We now know why he prefers grandma. A Spartanburg mother was arrested on Mother’s Day for child cruelty after she repeatedly slapped her young son in the face. The mother, Shontrell Murphy, 30, became enraged after she learned that her son had made a Mother’s Day card for his grandmother – but not one for her.   PENNSYLVANIA: NSANE? A woman was arrested for walking around outside in her underwear to bother her neighbors, police said. Linda Corp, 76 was charged with harassment, disorderly conduct, and public intoxication. Police report that Ms. Corp allegedly made 16 phone calls to 911 earlier in the month and had been spotted strolling the neighborhood in her underwear, ringing doorbells and screaming
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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books