Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 506: Not a leg to stand on…

TENNESSEE:  Not a leg to stand on? A family attending a relative’s wake got the shock of a lifetime when they discovered a stranger in his casket – wearing the decedent’s clothes. Workers at the Chattanooga funeral home insisted that makeup simply made the body of Benjamin Brown, Jr. look different, according to a report.  However, the relatives advised the funeral home that Brown was a double leg amputee, while the man in the casket had legs. The funeral director was dead wrong.   TEXAS: A generous armed robbery. Three thieves who staged an armed robbery of a donut shop in Houston took pity on by-standers. Two of the thieves, one holding a handgun, jumped over the counter and demanded
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 505: Count your Blessings

EGYPT:  Hey, Toots – count your blessings!  We have recently learned that a newlywed woman filed divorce papers because her husband does all the household chores. The 28-year-old woman, identified only as, Maha M, said she hates living with the man because he acts “like a housewife” she further complained, “He doesn’t let me touch anything in our house and does all the cooking, cleaning and general household chores.”   FLORIDA: The Business Bandit? It has been reported that the FBI is on the hunt for a dashing Florida crook who robs banks while wearing upscale business attire. The so-called “Business Bandit” sports a GQ-style driving cap, ties and button-down shirts during his stick-ups. He has allegedly pulled off robberies
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 504: Oh Poot!

MISSOURI: Oh, Poot! We hear that a criminal suspect brought an undetected weapon to his police interrogation in Kansas City. A detective reported that when asked for his home address, the 24-year-old man “leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart.’ He continued to be flatulent and the detectives as forced to quickly end the interview. PHEW!   ARIZONA: His number should be on the no dial list. It has been reported that a minister used his church’s telephone number in ads to recruit prostitutes. Walter Brazington, 55, a minister for the All Nations Evangelistic Team tried to lure women to a brothel in the town of Broken Arrow, police report. Preacher Brazington is being accused
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 503: It all came out in the end!

FLORIDA: It all came out in the end. A jail inmate denied stealing another inmate’s cigarettes. However, a strip search by Crestview correctional officers revealed part of blue latex glove protruding from the suspects buttocks. When officers found six Marlboro cigarettes with the filters removed inside the glove, the 18-year-old was charged with theft.   FLORIDA: What a doofuss… A young man was arrested for using his father’s police car to harass his ex-girlfriend’s new beau. Christopher Combs, 22, of Boynton Beach, allegedly hopped into his sheriff deputy father’s unmarked Ford Taurus police car and pulled over his former flame’s new love. Combs, who allegedly snatched the beau’s wallet was arrested after the man recognized his voice.   NEW JERSEY:
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 502: Shot in the Wiener?

ILLINOIS: The headline, He robbed a hot-dog stand then accidently shot himself in the wiener. We learn that a clumsy Chicago bandit gave himself the “shaft” when he tried to stuff his handgun into his pocket and it discharged hitting his genitals. Terrion Pouncy, 19, allegedly barged into the Original Maxwell Street Polish restaurant with a scarf over his face, whipped out a pistol and demanded cash.   NEBRASKA: Unneigborly? A man was recently sentenced to four years in prison after he was convicted of repeatedly sending strippers to his neighbors’ door to dance and get naked. The women would bare their breasts and shout for payment from the family, which included two children. Douglas Goldsberry, 45, of Elkhorn sent
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 501: Shot in the gonads

EGYPT: Shot in the gonads? A groom-to-be’s last night as a bachelor ended with a bang – when he was accidently shot in the genitals. Osman Al-A, 29, was out partying with his buds when one friend fired off the celebratory gunshots. The victim was left serious wounded with injures to his penis, thigh and hand, authorities report. It was not immediately known if he made it to his wedding.   FLORIDA: Oh, so weird… It has been reported by police that a naked man broke into an elderly woman’s home and played dress-up with her clothes. Joseph Vaglica, 40, of the town of Edgewater, allegedly dashed into the 82-year-old Sylvia Garmond’s home through her garage door. Vaglica went straight
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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books