Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 483 All Florida Dummies

FLORIDA: A terrible shot in the groin! We learn that a Florida man could be jailed for accidently shooting himself in the penis. Cedrick Jelks, 38, of Jacksonville, ran to the bathroom of a stranger’s home after he sat on his gun in his car and the gun went off. The homeowner followed Jelks, saw that he was wounded, and took him to a hospital where he underwent surgery. Jelks, we learn, may now face some jail time for the possession of a firearm because of his 2004 felony conviction for cocaine possession. Convicted felons are not allowed to carry or own firearms.     FLORIDA: The headline read, “He could not have been louder about his missing powder.” While
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 482: Well hydrated…

NEW JERSEY: The headline read, “He was well hydrated.” A driver was arrested after he smashed into mailbox and a fire hydrant in Parsippany, then drove around with the hydrant stuck to his car. Motorist Domingo Moreno was arrested at a diner after police followed a trail of water from the accident scene to a nearby home, where Moreno had allegedly thrown the hydrant into the trach.   SOUTH AFRICA: The headline read: “Good they weren’t stealing watermelons.” We learn that police are in trouble after videos emerged of them catching apple thieves and then pelting the suspects with the stolen fruit. Western Cape officials are investigating the potential misconduct. OUCH!   COLORADO: Not the best time to leave a
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 481: Her career Rocked!

NEVADA: The headline read, “Her career has been Rocked.” Las Vegas Judge Heidi Almase lost her seat in an election in June after she faked an endorsement from Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson and criticized her opponent for being married to a criminal-defense lawyer. Almase sent a post-election mailer reading, “For disappointing those attorneys and the public, you have my personal apology.”   TEXAS: Hidden where the sun don’t shine. A woman who made headlines in 2015 for allegedly hiding a loaded gun where the “sun don’t shine,” was sentenced this past week of June to probation for drug possession. Ashly Castaneda, 33 denies hiding the gun in her vagina. However, a police matron says she found it there and removed
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 480: It wasn’t a stairway to heaven!

GEORGIA: It sure wasn’t a stairway to heaven! A work crew hired by a Decatur landlord to repair old stairs instead removed the whole staircase – stranding residents in the two-story walk-up. After firefighters assisted with a recue ladder, the landlord said he would pay for the resident’s hotel stays while their apartments are inaccessible.     MAINE: Itchy & Scratchy, maybe? A man was so furious that he did not qualify for financial help, he released 100 live bedbugs inside of Augusta’s City Hall. The unidentified man slammed a cup full of the little bloodsuckers on an office counter, sending then scattering – and forcing officials to close the building for a clean-up. “We’ve never had anything as yucky
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 479: Happy Mother’s Day….

OREGON: Happy Mother’s Day – Bang, Bang… Two brothers got into it at a barbeque for their mother on Mother’s Day, 2017, with one pulling out a rifle and opening fire on the other in the town of Lebanon. Billy Jack Gomez was arrested for attempted murder for shooting at, but missing his brother Hunter.     MICHIGAN: Headline: “Courthouse security working the metal detector went ape!” The story is about the courthouse in Bay City – when they found a live monkey in a woman’s bag. “I pushed the button for it to go through when the bag started making noises,” said Sheriff’s Deputy Pat McIver. “I was like, ‘What was that?’” Linda Stevenson said it was her squirrel
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 478: RUFF JUSTICE…

FLORIDA: The headline said it was “Ruff justice.”  Police were summoned to arrest a pizza-parlor burglar found inside the business. Police say they asked the alleged burglar, identified as Joseph Pellegrini, at Hungry Howie’s in Winter Haven to step out – or face a police dog. Pellegrini decided to stay put. Minutes later K9 Recon entered, bit him on the leg and, after a struggle, the suspect was quietly arrested. Ruff, Ruff…     MICHIGAN: Fishy Story… A thief snatched several fish from a protected river – then tried to flee the scene on a unicycle, wildlife officials report. The thief was hauling a stringer full of bass when police pulled over his odd getaway vehicle near Battle Creek. Yes,
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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books