Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal law Stories # 456: Kamikaze Squirrel?

ILLINOIS: The headline read: “The revenge of the Kamikaze Squirrel.” A Chicago City Alderman was seriously injured when a squirrel darted into his bicycle—and now wonders whether the suicide might have been an act of rodent revenge. Just a few weeks earlier, Alderman Howard Brookins put Chicago’s squirrel community on notice at a city council meeting where he reported his colleagues that he “was sick of aggressive squirrels ravaging garbage cans and costing taxpayers millions of dollars.” He went to contend to the council that the city was “spending too much money on replacing garbage cans because squirrels continue to eat through them. This was in October, 2016. Three weeks later Brookins was biking along the Cal-Sag bike Trail when
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 455: Snoop?

PENNSYLVANIA: The new way to snoop on a cheating wife! A suspicious man, who calls himself John, wanted to find evidence that his wife may have been stepping out on him without using the services of a private investigator. John went high-tech. he used a drone to tail his wife of 18 years from 400 feet overhead. He got his suspicions confirmed. The drone recorded video of the wife meeting another man in a drugstore parking lot. John then posted his video on YouTube where it has garnered 900,000 views. Instant marriage on the rocks, maybe? MISSISSIPPI: The headline read: “He stuck a spork in it ‘cause he was done.” A lawyer dropped his lawsuit against Popeye’s Chicken because too
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 453: “Instant ‘car’ ma” ?

PENNSYLVANIA: The headline here read: “Instant ‘car’ma.” A driver was arrested by police after he threw a beer bottle out of his car window – and it hit a pole and flew back inside the vehicle. Chase McGrew, 22, accidentally sliced his pal when the bottle came boomeranging back. They were forced to call the police for help and McGrew was charged with reckless endangerment. Idiot!   TEXAS: The headline on this one read: “Cruel cop is ‘s – – t’ canned.” We learn that a San Antonio police officer was fired in fall 2016, after an investigation determined he tried to give a homeless man a sandwich with feces inside it. Police Chief William McManus reported that former officer
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 452: See-thru Bikini no, no!

NEW JERSEY: See-thru Bikini no no…Why? A man who wore a bikini fashioned out of plastic wrap on a Jersey shore beach is facing criminal charges. Stephen Wojciehowski, 50, spent two days on the beach wearing the homemade bikini in which his genitals were clearly exposed. The Stafford Township man was arrested in early October, 2016, and charged with lewdness. He was released on his own recognizance. It is unclear whether Wojciehowski has an attorney. OHIO: The headline read: No pulp please!” It has been reported that Willis Burdette, 72, secretly and unlawfully entered into a 61-year-old woman’s home, ejaculated into her orange juice bottle and then put it back in her fridge. He was caught on security video performing
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 451: All NYC!

NEW YORK CITY: Prison for ID spree! A woman who used stolen hospital records to fraudulently order more than $1 million in designer goods from Saks Fifth Avenue and other retailers was sentenced at the end of October 216, to four to eight years in prison. Krystle Steed 31 had earlier pled guilty to charges including grand larceny and identity theft in Manhattan Supreme Court. The facts of the case revealed that she had operated the scam with her Navy veteran husband, Kyle Steed, 31, who had been an employee of Lenox Hill Hospital and had pilfered records from more than 80 emergency room patients. The couple allegedly stole $300,000 in high end merchandise from January 2014 to February 2015.
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Weird Criminal Stories # 450: Invasion of Privacy…Bzzz ?

ILLINOIS: Invasion of privacy for certain! Good luck with this suit…We have learned that a hot-and-bothered woman is suing the makers of a so-called “smart vibrator,” claiming it keeps track of when and how she uses it. The woman insists in her law suit that “We-Vibe” – a sex toy for couples that attached to a smartphone – has been monitoring the dates and times she uses it, along with her vibration settings. She is suing its maker, Standard Innovation for invasion of privacy.   INDONESIA: This was one way to lessen the tedium of a traffic jam. We learn that drivers stuck in traffic were stunned when a massive video billboard suddenly began broadcasting a pornographic movie. The footage
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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books