Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 429:Bacon Inside a Mosque???

FLORIDA: Bacon inside a mosque is never good! Vandalism at Mosque called a Hate Crime. We learn that an attack earlier this year at a mosque using raw bacon and a machete could perhaps draw a Brevard County man a sentence of up to life in prison as a result of a recently added hate-crime enhancement to Florida law. Michael Wolfe, 35, was charged with armed burglary of a structure and criminal mischief of a place of worship in connection with the New Year’s Eve break-in and desecration of the Islamic Society of Central Florida Masjid Al-Munin Mosque in Titusville. An arrest report reveals that the convicted felon acted alone, broke into the empty mosque with a machete at night, slashing at windows and other property before leaving behind a slab of raw bacon in and around the front door. Wolfe’s actions in the mosque were recorded on surveillance video. The State Attorney reviewed the case and brought formal charges on both counts which now carry hate-crime enhancements, which means the potential sanctions in the event of a conviction are increased. We learned that in the case of the armed burglary the enhancement could now draw a life sentence. Pork meat is looked upon as unclean by muslims.


FRANCE: Things don’t always go better with coke, stupid! A woman was so curious about the quality of her cocaine that she walked into a police station and asked gendarmes to test it. The 43-year-old asked (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 427: Booby Trap Bras!!


VIRGINIA: “Booby Trap Bras? “Brilliant! A woman who was assaulted recently has developed a self-defense bra equipped with pepper spray, and one with a razor sharp knife. She named it the “Booby Trap Bra.” The garment retails for $54.99 for the “Just in Case knife Bra” and 49.99 for the “Just in Case pepper Spray Bra.”


FLORIDA: The headline read: “Their mouths were clean but their hands were dirty.” Orange County deputies allege that 64-year-old Mary Curtiss and 44-year-old Clint Curtis led a racketeering operation that was responsible for stealing more than $100,000 in electronic toothbrush products and cash from Publix, Walmart, Walgreens and CVS stories throughout central Florida. The criminal complaint further alleges that the bulk of the money the two brought in came from stealing two particularly unusual items—high-end electronic and replacement toothbrush heads – then returning them as if they had legitimately purchased and pocketing the cash. Not only were the corporations losing money (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 426: All Pennsylvania


PENNSYLVANIA: Greeting cards are supposed to be given to loved ones. Philly police are searching for a man who tried to rob a Hallmark store using a greeting card with the handwritten message inside which stated, “Give me all the money or I’ll kill you.” The cashier was so surprised she called over a co-worker. Then the would-be robber grabbed back the greeting card and fled.


PENNSYLVANIA: Police “liked” him on Facebook. Anthony Lescow, who was wanted on a warrant for assault, got cocky and posted the police department wanted poster of him on his Facebook page. That’s when an attractive woman coaxed Lescow to meet him for a cigarette. Yep, you guessed it! There was no attractive woman meeting him – just a team of undercover officers who promptly arrested him based on the warrant.


PENNSYLVANIA: The headline read: “Great tackle.” Pizza –delivery man Inomjon M got car-jacked and assaulted in Pittsburgh in February by two men. The next day, his pal spotted the vehicle (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 425: Police Overexposure!

FLORIDA: The headline read: “Lady Lake police officer resigns after exposing himself.” How sordid! Officer Kevin Thompson resigned in early 2016 after allegations and photos surfaced of him masturbating in his patrol car in uniform for a Leesburg woman he met on Craigslist. The State Attorney’s Office declined to file charges against the officer, but the police chief said the department’s reputation has been tarnished. Officer Thompson, who is married, responded to the 38-year-old woman’s Craigslist ad about four months prior to his resignation and the pair started meeting while he was on duty. He told investigators that his marriage was in disarray and he decided to look for companionship on the web. On the day of the incident it appears that outside of her workplace the woman walked up to Thompson’s patrol car and saw that he had his pants down and was masturbating. She advised deputies he let her snap about 15 photos. Later, while trying to break off the affair she threatened to tell Thompson’s wife about the affair and send her the photos. Thompson then threatened her for threatening a police officer. (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories #424: Wife Crashes Her own Funeral

AUSTRALIA: Headline: “Wife crashes her own funeral – husband horrified that she was alive!” What a story. Early in 2016, Mrs. Noela Rukundo sat in a car outside of her home in Melbourne, watching as the last few mourners filed out. They were leaving a funeral. As a matter of fact it was her funeral. Finally, she saw the man for whom she had been waiting. She stepped out of her car and her husband put his hands on his head in horror. Why? It was just five days earlier that he had ordered a team of hit men to kill Rukundo, his wife of ten years. The hit met told her husband that they had killed her but they never (more…)

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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 423: He Still Be Dead!

PENNSYLVANIA: You’re sorry but he still be dead! It has been reported that a woman in the town of Erie who fatally punched a 63-year-old named Paris Hilton, faces up to five years in prison. Sandra Gray maintains Hilton made unwanted sexual advances toward her. She pleaded guilty to involuntary manslaughter before an Erie County judge. Her defense attorney says Gray did mean to kill him.


TEXAS: Cookie Monster, really? Gene Bradshaw, 25, also known as “cookie monster,” was arrested on a Thursday for more than 300 robberies at fast food restaurants in Texas, where he would allegedly demand cookies as well as cash. Bradshaw and his suspected accomplice, Kristy G, 25, face charges of aggravated robbery with a deadly weapon.


VIRGINIA: Arachnophobia?? A state prosecutor is in trouble. Why? He went to a Halloween office party that was decorated for the holiday and included a goodly number of plastic spiders. (more…)

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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books