Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 452: See-thru Bikini no, no!

NEW JERSEY: See-thru Bikini no no…Why? A man who wore a bikini fashioned out of plastic wrap on a Jersey shore beach is facing criminal charges. Stephen Wojciehowski, 50, spent two days on the beach wearing the homemade bikini in which his genitals were clearly exposed. The Stafford Township man was arrested in early October, 2016, and charged with lewdness. He was released on his own recognizance. It is unclear whether Wojciehowski has an attorney. OHIO: The headline read: No pulp please!” It has been reported that Willis Burdette, 72, secretly and unlawfully entered into a 61-year-old woman’s home, ejaculated into her orange juice bottle and then put it back in her fridge. He was caught on security video performing
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 451: All NYC!

NEW YORK CITY: Prison for ID spree! A woman who used stolen hospital records to fraudulently order more than $1 million in designer goods from Saks Fifth Avenue and other retailers was sentenced at the end of October 216, to four to eight years in prison. Krystle Steed 31 had earlier pled guilty to charges including grand larceny and identity theft in Manhattan Supreme Court. The facts of the case revealed that she had operated the scam with her Navy veteran husband, Kyle Steed, 31, who had been an employee of Lenox Hill Hospital and had pilfered records from more than 80 emergency room patients. The couple allegedly stole $300,000 in high end merchandise from January 2014 to February 2015.
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Weird Criminal Stories # 450: Invasion of Privacy…Bzzz ?

ILLINOIS: Invasion of privacy for certain! Good luck with this suit…We have learned that a hot-and-bothered woman is suing the makers of a so-called “smart vibrator,” claiming it keeps track of when and how she uses it. The woman insists in her law suit that “We-Vibe” – a sex toy for couples that attached to a smartphone – has been monitoring the dates and times she uses it, along with her vibration settings. She is suing its maker, Standard Innovation for invasion of privacy.   INDONESIA: This was one way to lessen the tedium of a traffic jam. We learn that drivers stuck in traffic were stunned when a massive video billboard suddenly began broadcasting a pornographic movie. The footage
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 449: Hut, hut, Hitler?

CONNECTICUT: Hut, hut Hitler…. The headmaster of Greenwich High School apologized after the school’s football team named one of its plays “Hitler.” Chris Winters issued the apology in October, 2016, maintaining the designation offensive and saying that the use of the play had been discontinued. Debbie Levinson of the town of Turnbull told news media her son’s freshman football team was playing Greenwich when Greenwich players charged onto the field shouting “Hitler!” She said the signal for the play was an index finger laid across the upper lip. The football team and coaches later met with the state Anti-defamation league to make certain they understood why the name of the play was offensive. FLORIDA: Catch me if you can! A
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 448: Greasy Guy?

CANADA: Greasy guy? A Royal Canadian Mint employee allegedly smuggled out $140,000 in gold by hiding the nuggets in his rectum. Leston Lawrence, 35, had set off a metal detector at work more than any other employee but kept passing pat-down searches. He was arrested only when police found him selling large amounts of gold and then wiring money overseas. More importantly, authorities reveal that the police also discovered another clue – a jar of Vaseline in Lawrence’s work locker. ALABAMA: This Judge learned the hard way that the U.S. Constitution trumps state law! The chief justice of the Alabama Supreme Court, charged with defying federal court rulings that permit same-sex marriage, was suspended in September, 2016 after having been
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 447: “A Real Shed of Doubt”

NEBRASKA: A politician with a real shed of doubt… Retired Army Col. Tom Brewer, who is running for a seat in the state legislature, was accused of listing a phony address – a machine shed – while actually living in another district 400 miles away. So Brewer scheduled an open house to show off the renovated shed, which he says has bedrooms, bathrooms, and a kitchen. Secretary of State John Gale said the complaint was filed too late anyway, so Brewer will be allowed to run for the district 43 seat.   NEW HAMPSHIRE: What a doll!  Police officers in the town of Keen broke into a locked car to save a baby from the brutal summer heat – unfortunately,
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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books