Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 443: Pig Heads???

HUNGARY: Pig heads?? A Hungarian member of the European parliament whipped up controversy in mid-August, 2016 by suggesting that displaying pig heads on a border fence would be an effective way to scare Muslim immigrants from entering the EU-member country. Gyorgy Schopflin made the suggestion in response to local putting up carved root-vegetable, human-like masks at the border.   ILLINOIS: The headline read, “Bloody sundae.” One summer day a Chicago bandit robbed an ice-cream truck with an assault rifle. It is reported that the thief pulled the weapon, demanded cash and the keys to the truck and fled in the vehicle. No arrest has been made. JAPAN: The headline called it the “Seat of Dreams.” A shopper who fell asleep
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Weird Criminal Law # 442: Mommy what’s a Bim Bim?

BURKINA FASO: Just how big were their Bim Bims? We learn that this western African nation recently banned an annual beauty contest for women with the biggest rear-ends. The last weekend in August of 2016, would have been the third annual Miss Bim Bim pageant before government officials cancelled it for being too sexist and degrading. “Our role is to do everything to avoid damaging the image of our women,” said Minister Laure Zongo.   CALIFORNIA: Flaming Poo, maybe? Vandals lit portable toilets on fire at San Francisco’s China Basin Beach, causing a big flaming mess. “It was a pretty big fire. Flames were lighting up the place,” a nearby neighbor said. Fortunately no one was injured but the vandals
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 441:Better Than a Bust in the Mouth

ALABAMA: This was better than a bust in the mouth! An Alabama woman dialed 911 then hid her cell phone in her bra during an attempted kidnapping. The sharp 911 dispatcher was able figure out and plot where the armed kidnapper and woman were through the cell phone’s coordinate readings from various cell towers they passed. She was then able to send police to the rescue. TENNESSEE: What a weird little event! James and Isabelle Lassiter were at the Wasabi Japanese Steak house in Murfreesboro, when the tableside chef took out a doll that sprays water when its pants are pulled down and hit Isabelle in the face while
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 440: Nothing Behind the Behind….

RUSSIA: In this case the police cannot get behind the behind! Russian police admit that they cannot get “behind” neighbors upset with a woman who enjoys sun-tanning her rear end – by sticking her legs out of an open second floor window and exposing her bare buttocks. Police in Novosibirsk say they cannot force someone to cover up when they are still technically inside their own home.   TENNESSEE: Flighty Booze Bust?  We learn that a Delta Air Lines flight attendant has been charged with stealing 1,500 mini-bottles of liquor from her job and selling them online. Rachel Trevor, 28, has been indicted on charges including theft, unlawful sale of alcohol and unauthorized transportation of alcohol, according to the Shelby
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 439:Chopstick Slaying

JAPAN: The headline read: “Son in chopstick slay.” A Japanese man was arrested after admitting to killing his elderly father with a chopstick. Michikazu Ikeuchi, 51, said he stabbed his 80-year-old father in the throat with the wooden utensil after a fight broke out in their Osaka home. Ikeuchi told police that he had tried to stop his parents from arguing and he did not intend to kill his father but said he was angry when he waved the chopstick in front of his father, and before he knew it, it got stuck in him. The chopstick was a foot long, used mostly for cooking. He called police immediately after the incident. No report on whether charges will be brought
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 437: All Florida Stories

FLORIDA: He typically mailed the letters. This time – bad news — he showed up in person. Orange County deputies say last Christmas, 2015, 69-year-old Jose Santana had sent 40 handwritten letters to his estranged wife of 45 years, threatening to hurt her and their family if she ever called the police. Nevertheless she decided to call at Christmas when he hand-delivered the letter to her door. He left the letter at her door and departed. In the letter, deputies say that Santana wrote that “he wanted to decapitate her and make history in Florida.” The letter further stated that “I want to hurt you so bad.” and indicated further still that he was not afraid of going to jail.
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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books