Weird Criminal Law Stories # 325: New Headlights

September 17th, 2014 by Leonard Birdsong

FLORIDA: A roadside beggar says she need a new set of “headlights.” Christina Andrews carries a pink sign on a Pensacola road that reads, “Not homeless, need boobs.” Andrews, who is trying to raise money for implants, said, “I thought people would laugh and keep going, But they’re like, Hey. Here’s some money.”

…And just how flat chested are you Christina? Inquiring minds would like to know.


FLORIDA: Two stories about crack pipe hiding. When 46- year- old Oliver Johnson submitted to an X-ray in the St. Lucie County lockup, police spotted a crack pipe in his stomach, said authorities who took him off to a hospital. In Vero Beach, around the same time, a female jail corrections officer conducted a cavity search on drug suspect, Amanda Goss, and found a crack pipe in her vagina.

We wonder whether Johnson and Goss knew each other?


WASHINGTON: A woman was arrested after allegedly entering the Dim Sum King restaurant in Seattle, shouting, “Go back to China,” and going on a rampage. She, reportedly, overturned diner’s plates,

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 324:Pastafarian?

September 10th, 2014 by Leonard Birdsong

TEXAS: A Texas Tech student was allowed to wear a pasta strainer on his head for an official state ID card.  Eddie Castillo convinced the Department of Public Safety ne should be allowed to wear the strainer based on his religious freedom to worship the “Flying Spaghetti Monster.” He stated further, that members of his “Pastafarian” church pray to the Flying Spaghetti Monster to advocate for greater separation between church and state.

This kind of foolishness even makes Rastafarian beliefs sound rational…


COLORADO: We’ve learned that men in Colorado are getting advice concerning drunk driving while they urinate.  Bars in the state have installed a device called an “Interactive Urinal Communicator,” which plays an anti-DWI public service announcement on a speaker as a patron approaches the urinal.

Just the silliest thing I’ve ever heard of. Wonder if it cuts down on DWI’s?

 COLORADO: This is tragic news. Denver authorities have put out a family of its subsidized public housing two days after the main tenant was murdered.  Because the victim,

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 323: Sex in a Taxi?

September 3rd, 2014 by Leonard Birdsong

CHINA: We learn that traffic mayhem erupted recently in Shanghai, when dozens of drivers starting swerving close to a taxi in which the passengers were having sex.  Several cars clipped each other, but not serious injuries were report. Hey, you two…Get a garage!   SWEDEN: A driver from Malmo, with $4.5 million dollars in unpaid parking tickets has been crowned the nation’s number 1 scofflaw. Yet, the circumstances appear suspicious. The unidentified man hasn’t had a driver’s license for three years and he is the registered owner of more than 2,000 cars. Come on! You know this guy must be the owner of a fleet of taxis.  Who need 2,000 cars?


  JAPAN: A Japanese man racked up nearly  a thousand dollars’ worth of damage to a super market when he

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 322: Sugar Babies?

August 27th, 2014 by Leonard Birdsong

MICHIGAN:  This one comes from Detroit which is going through bankruptcy.  It has been reported that more than 200 of its public school teachers are moonlighting as “sugar babies” to make up for wage cuts or the loss of jobs. The report is derived from a website that matches up young women with “sugar daddies.” The site reports that the average teacher can get up to $3,000 a month in return for providing companionship and pampering to an older man.

Is sex expected by the older men? If so, this sounds like prostitution…

 NORTH CAROLINA: Ayana Kenyatta Taylor, 21, did not go quietly after she attacked North Carolina police with scissors and had to be Tasered. Taylor, of Union City, New Jersey, managed to get into and drive off in a Fayetteville police cruiser and crashed into several other cars. Police did not reveal a motive for her conduct, but Police Chief Harold Medlock said: “it’s not against the law for people to be mentally ill.”


SOUTH CAROLINA: A couple was arrested for allegedly having sex in a display shed at a North Charleston Home Depot

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 321: Nose Biting & Police Car Stealing in Illinois

August 20th, 2014 by Leonard Birdsong

ILLINOIS: A woman in Chicago bit off her cousin’s nose during a brawl at a family get together.  The relative was hosting the affair when Damike Robinson, 39, flew into a rage and began biting her face, ultimately biting off her nose.

This is worse than Mike Tyson biting part of the ear of Evander Holyfield!


ILLINOIS: Marquette Fisher, 42, was arrested in Chicago for driving without a license. Police handcuffed him with his hands in front of him, and placed him in the back of a police cruiser which had the keys in the ignition. When police turned their backs for a moment, Fisher allegedly jumped into the front seat of the cruiser and took off. It took several hours for police to catch him. But he was caught and arrested again for grand theft auto.

What a mental midget…


  MICHIGAN: In Pontiac a man was desperate to save his house. It was going to be torn down by the city. So, the man switched house number plates