September 2nd, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong
VIRGINIA: Flesh tone is the new black… A woman forgot one thing while visiting her husband in jail – her clothes. The drunken 26-year-old showed up at the county jail in Arlington wearing only her birthday suit. Corrections officers gave her two options: Spend the night in jail or take a cab home. They provided her with a blanket and she chose the cab.
NIGERIA: Will the goat be required to take the witness stand? A 20-year-old man provided three good reasons why it was OK for him to have had sex with a goat. First, Malamand Kamisu said he owned the goat. Second he said he asked the goat’s permission, and third, he told police, that he had sex with animals more than ten times before and had never been arrested. Despite his cogent defenses police charged him with Bestiality. A conviction could send him to prison for five years.
PENNSYLVANIA: A horsey aider and abettor? It has been reported that a driver fled from a hit-and-run in a one-horsepower vehicle.
Police are looking for the person at the reins of the Amish buggy
August 26th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong
WASHINGTON: Was it young love or dung love – you decide. A man on a romantic stroll with his girlfriend in Seattle decided he wanted to climb a tank at a sewage-treatment plant. Unfortunately, he ended up falling into a giant vat of feces. Firefighters rushed to the scene to rescue the 23-year-old, who admitted that he had taken drugs before his beach adventure near Puget Sound. Pheeewwweee!
VIRGINIA: The worst possible ID theft of all time? A man by the name of Yafait Tadesse, 21, was recently convicted of identity theft. So, why is this news? Because Tadesse filed tax returns bearing the name of the U.S. Attorney General Eric Holder, who Tadesse claimed worked at Walmart. The false tax returns did include Mr. Holder’s actual Social Security number and had been filed in 2012 and 2013 in an effort to seek bogus refunds. Yes, Tadesse is going to jail!
ENGLAND: Dig this… Crooks pulled off a robbery of a store – with a shovel. The thieves, after digging a 50-foot tunnel, sneaked into a
August 19th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong
WASHINGTON: Imagine being awakened in the morning by after being thrown into the back of a dump truck! A man, woman, and their dog were asleep in a Spokane dumpster when a city trash truck threw them and all the other contents into the truck’s compactor. We learn no one was hurt because the garbage hauler heard the couple’s screams in time not to crush them. Disaster averted!!
KANSAS: Always chew your food thoroughly when stealing it! It has been reported that a 48-year-old man nearly choked to death in a Wichita Mexican restaurant when he barged in, ran to the buffet counter and started shoving handfuls of hot pork into his mouth. He began choking and was rushed to a local hospital where medical personnel saved his life. Nevertheless, police say theft charges will be pursued against the man.
SOUTH CAROLINA: The headline read: it may be OK to put Mom in a home, but it’s never OK to put her in a trunk. A 20-year-old Virginia man was arrested in South Carolina after police found his mother in the trunk
August 13th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong
MICHIGAN: So grim, so grim…could this have been a suicide? Inquiring minds would like to know. Earlier this year authorities in Pontiac discovered the remains of a woman whose death six years ago went unnoticed because her bills had been set on an automatic bank-debit payment system. Investigators believe the woman is Pia Farenkopf, 49, who had been last seen alive in September of 2008, when she was laid off from her job at a mortgage finance firm. Allegedly, Farenkopf was estranged from her family, and her neighbors who knew she liked to keep to herself. They thought she had moved to Germany, as she had said a few times that she might. How was her death determined? Her money ran out in March 2013, causing the bank to foreclose on her home. Contractors then started work on the home and discovered the body inside her 2003 Jeep Liberty inside her garage.
MINNESOTA: NO POTTY, NO PEACE, NO POTTY, NO PEACE. Lily Prince, a 50 something-year-old factory worker is fighting for her right to take potty breaks.
June 24th, 2015 by Leonard Birdsong
IOWA: Extreme candy crush? We learn that Robert McKay of Spirit Lake was fired for using maximum force when his Twix candy bar became stuck in the vending machine. McKay commandeered a forklift, picking up the vending machine at least six times and dropping it onto the concrete floor, according to a report by the Iowa State Unemployment records office. He was fired several days later.
MARYLAND: What a doofuss! Robert Wilson, 42, bungled his bank robbery attempt horrible a few weeks ago when he dropped more than $20,000 he stole on the floor of the bank. He struggled to collect the cash in an upturned umbrella – then slipped on an icy sidewalk as he fled, cutting his head open. By the time he got to his getaway car, police were already in pursuit. They soon captured and arrested him. He is on his way to federal prison.
CALIFORNIA: Bzzzzz, bzzzzz, sting, sting. A two car accident near L.A. turned into a brutal attack by more than 600 bees when one of the vehicles