Professor Birdsong

Weird Criminal Law Stories # 533: Hannibal the cannibal?

PENNSYLVANIA: Hannibal the cannibal? A man has been ordered to stand trial on charges he threatened a judge by sending her a letter with a picture of Hannibal Lecter – the cannibal played by Anthony Hopkins in “Silence of the Lambs.” Gregg Tchirkow, of the town of Monessen, told the court at his preliminary hearing that the cinematic threat against Westmoreland County Judge Meagan Bilik-Defazio was really only a “cry for help.” We learn that a motive for the threat may have been because the judge had sent Tchirkow to prison in 2005 on a drug possession conviction.   CALIFORNIA: Child’s Play? A driver was caught using a “Chucky” doll as a fake passenger in the carpool lane. The driver
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 532: OUCH Redux!!

INDIA: OUCH! A woman became so enraged at her lover for planning to marry someone else that she cut off his penis. The 26-year-old man, known as Irshad met up with his girlfriend one last time in the town of Kattipuram. However, when she learned he had agreed to an arranged marriage with another woman she flew into a fit of rage and chopped off his member with a knife. There is no information about her arrest. And we do not know whether the penis was surgically reattached.   MICHIGAN:  Anyone for a cookie? A Subway shop manager was arrested for running an elaborate marijuana selling operation out of a shop in Highland Park. The manager allegedly sold the weed
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 531: What a Circus…

FLORIDA: The headline read, “What a circus.” A man dressed as a clown robbed a Waffle House restaurant in Ocala, with an accomplice, who was wearing a goat mask. The bandits ran into the restaurant and one of them whipped out a pistol, according to authorities. We learn that Clown and goat fled with a bag of cash. They are still at large.   CALIFORNIA: Vanity, thy name is man. We learn that a fugitive from the Texas “10 Most Wanted” list was caught because of his boasting in an Instagram post. Christopher Gonzalez, an 18-year-old murder suspect, live-streamed footage of himself showing off a shotgun and other weapons. Dallas police got GPS coordinates off his video and learned he
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 530: The jailhouse wallet…

CANADA:  The jailhouse wallet is used once again.  An Ottawa man was sentenced recently to two years in prison for breaking into a jail with a “buttload” of illegal drugs. Damian O’Reilly, 20, was apprehended for smuggling marijuana, matches, tobacco and rolling papers into the Ottawa Wa-Carleton Detention Center last year. Jail authorities discovered that O’Reilly was hiding the contraband inside eight Kinder Surprise chocolate eggs stuffed in his rectum.   FLORIDA:  Young love, dumb love! A teenager allegedly stole his uncle’s police uniform and wore it to impress a girl – but he ended up in jail. Isael Lima, 18, of the town of Bellview was charged with impersonating an officer after taking his uncle’s uniform and patrol car
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 529: OUCH!!

SOUTH KOREA: OUCH!! It has been reported that woman allegedly cut off her husband’s penis because he spent too much time playing golf. The woman who lives in the town of Yeosu, reportedly attacked the 50-year-old man with a kitchen knife as he slept and flushed the member down the toilet. Police say that the wife confessed to the crime with the excuse that her husband ignores her and left her broke.   WISCONSIN: One can say he jumped at the opportunity. We learn that a drunken driver critically injured himself when he jumped off a 250-foot overpass following a 100-mph police chase. The unidentified 24-year-old made the move of jumping after crashing his 2004 Nissan 350Z on I-94 in
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Weird Criminal Law Stories # 528: Water, water everywhere

GERMANY: Water, water everywhere and none to drink? A man left his faucet and toilet running continuously for at least a year, using 1.85 million gallons of water and causing “massive damage” to his Salzgitter apartment building. His apartment manager called police in late autumn after the water began leaking into other apartments. When police arrived, the alleged so called  “hydro-maniac” had to be subdued with pepper spray and was taken in for a psychiatric evaluation.   MICHIGAN: The headline, “Lego my Legos” A Granville man maintains that someone stole his valuable Lego collection from his basement while he and his family were asleep. It appears that the burglars ignored Brian Richards’ electronics, camera equipment, and tools but took his
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P15-(2)Professor Birdsong received his J.D. from the Harvard Law School and his B.A. from Howard University. He teaches law in Orlando, Florida. After graduation from law school he worked several years with a large law firm. He then entered into a varied and distinguished career in government service. First serving as a diplomat with the State Department with various postings in Nigeria, Germany and the Bahamas. Professor Birdsong later served as a federal prosecutor. After leaving government service, Professor Birdsong was in private law practice. He has done on-air radio and TV legal analysis work for Fox News, CNN, Court TV and BET TV News. Currently, Professor Birdsong is occasionally invited to appear as a legal commentator on Fox Radio News, CBS Radio and MSNBC.

Aside from writing scholarly papers on law and humor books on criminal law, Professor Birdsong loves to play piano, cycle, swim and every other year, he enjoys walking the streets of Paris with his lovely wife.

Although he has been involved in serious criminal law work over the years as a prosecutor, a defense attorney, and a law professor, Professor Birdsong knows that it is good to stayed grounded. This means often taking time to look at the many funny and weird criminal law stories that crop up around the United States and the world. He believes we should not always take criminal law so seriously and instead, just have a good laugh at some of the silly foibles of dumb criminals and their crimes. That is why several years ago he began to collect and edit from the wire services and news the type of weird and funny criminal law stories that appear in this volume.

Professor Birdsong hopes that you will get a few good laughs or at least, some chuckles from his collection of weird criminal law stories and his “snarky” commentary accompanying each of them.

View Birdsong’s Collection of books