Weird Criminal Law Stories 83

Rising Sun, MD: A man faces drunken driving charges after a deputy pulled him over and noticed he was naked below the waist. A Cecil County Maryland sheriff’s spokesman reports that Jonathan Schultz, 41, “was driving commando”  — only partially covered with a towel on his lap.  He was wearing a shirt. Schultz  was  stopped going 69 mph in a 50 mph zone.  The deputy smelled alcohol and noticed that Schultz was exposed.  He told the deputy he had lost his pants.  The deputy didn’t find any pants in the car.

Sounds like a drunken pervert…

Naperville, IL: Eager to buy himself a present on his 19th birthday, Michael Wells Jr. chose an unusual way to spend the day — he tried to break into a Naperville home.  DuPage county prosecutors say Wells’ May 13, 2009, plans included selling  what he stole for money get himself a birthday present.  His plans were ruined when he was arrested by sheriff deputies during the break-in.  He was sentenced to six months in jail after pleading guilty to attempted burglary.  It appears that the only gift Wells got for his birthday was the fact that the judge sentenced him to only six months instead of the  five years sought by the prosecution.

Happy Birthday to you, Idiot!

Clare, MI: “Cops and Doughnuts” is more than a punch line.  It’s now a bakery in Michigan — owned by nine full-time employees of the Clare Police Department.  The newly renamed bakery opened in July, 2009, offering doughnuts, cookies, muffins, brownies and bread.  It also has mugs and T-shirts bearing the  “Cops & Doughnuts, 100 percent Cop-Owned” logo and phrases including, “You Have the right to Remain Glazed” and “Handcuffs and Cream Puffs.”  The nine officers were on hand for the grand opening but  have hired a manager and will employ local staff.

Bet the cop owners will eat up all the profits…

Sao Paulo, Brazil: Prison guards foiled a new attempt to smuggle a cell phone into a Brazilian prison by carrier pigeon — this one wearing a tiny backpack — and said the practice is becoming almost commonplace.  An exhausted pigeon wearing a small makeshift backpack was intercepted just outside the walls at the Danilo Pinheiro prison near the city of Sorocaba.

Ancient technology to bring new technology…

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