Some More Weird Florida Criminal Law

Florida seems to produce an abundance of weird criminal law stories.  Here are a few more for your consideration.

Tallahassee:  It’s a crime against humanity to wear nothing but a banana hammock while riding on a banana seat in Florida.  A 55 year old man known for riding a bike around Tallahassee wearing just a thong, and therefore frequently exposing himself, has been arrested.  Richard Irby is notorious for walking around his trailer park with his genitals hanging from his skivvies.

Ewwwww…What a perv.

Fort Walton Beach: A 34 year old wife was arrested in Florida for alledgedly assaulting her husband after spotting him licking another woman’s face.  She dragged him out of a bar in Fort Walton Beach — by his hair — while hitting him.

Where is a rolling pin when a lady needs one?

Tampa: A Tampa man triggered a manhunt after he lied to his wife about being kidnapped so he could be with his girlfriend, police said.  Wikler Moran-Mora sent his wife a text telling her he had been abducted and was being being held for ransom.


Brevard County: Sylvester Jiles, who had been released days earlier from the Brevard County jail, decided he would be much safer inside after his life was threatened by people outside.  So he tried to get back in by jumping the prison fence — and fell through three levels of barbed wire.  He was taken to a hospital.


Fort Lauderdale: Police in Fort Lauderdale sent letters to known fugitives promising them a”stimulus check” from the government.  The suspects were asked to call a hotline and set up an appointment to pick up a check from an auditorium where “South Florida Stimulus Coalition” banners hung.  When the fugitives arrived, they were identified and about 75 were arrested on offenses ranging from grand theft to fraud to attempted murder.  Police say that the two day sting was dubbed “Operation Show Me The Money.”

That’s why we call it FloriDUH!

Sarasota:  Florida scientists are trying to track down an underwater robot nicknamed “Waldo” that mysteriously vanished in the waters of the Gulf Coast.  The remote controlled, $100,000 robot equipped with a detector to find red tide, a toxic algae bloom, has been missing for a week from the Mote Marine laboratory in Sarasota.

Where’s Waldo????

Pensacola:  A burglar who made off with a Pensacola man’s valuables returned to the home later and snatched what he could not carry on his first trip — a 100 pound plasma screen TV.  The kicker to the story — a police officer was on the scene investigating the first burglary when the thief made off with the TV.  The owner of the house said the thief had already stolen his wallet, watch and video game system.  Investigators had left the TV in the backyard, where the burglar put it, so they could dust for fingerprints.  Police have offered to pay for the TV.

Gutsy burglar!

Fort Pierce: A woman broke into a car parked at a Fort Pierce police station to get change for the soda machine.  Sophia Paulinyce, 19, was arrested for stealing $7 from a police officer’s private vehicle and charged with felony burglary and misdemeanor larceny.  Paulinyce apologized to the cops for her illegal and dumb bid to quench her thirst.

Next time use the water fountain Paulinyce…….

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