Some Weird Florida Stories

Daytona Beach, FL: This guy is no good at his job.  A robber in Daytona Beach who accosted a 69 year woman driving her car in a Walmart parking lot jumped on the hood and smashed a hole in her windshield.  When the robber dropped his gun through the hole the lady picked it up and promptly pointed it at him.  The robber, of course, ran for his life.  Police were called.  No arrest has yet been made.

Clumsy doofus…

Naples, FL: This is one about an 18 year old who is stingy with his words.  An alligator in Naples bit off the hand of Tim Delano.  Tim then called his mother and and left her this voicemail: “Mom, I have no left hand.  Goodbye.’


St. Petersburg, FL: The New York Post recently reported that Michael Dupree broke into a car three years ago in St. Petersburg and stole a bike.  He was chased down by the car’s owner and two other men.  Dupree who is now serving a 12 year prison sentence for burglary is suing the three men for $500,000 for “psychological disorders” and disabilities he suffered as a result of his take down and beating.

Right, good luck with that suit Dupree.  Sounds like contributory negligence, or worse, to me.

Coral Springs, FL: A repentant would be robber who left a MetroPCS cellphone store near Miami empty handed after his intended victim, Nayara Goncalves, 20, calmly told him about her love of Jesus.  Israel Camacho, 37, of Coral Springs left her shop in tears.  Unfortunately, several hours later Camacho robbed a shoe store a few miles away.

The headline read: “His soul was saved until he stole some soles.”  Yuk, yuk,yuk.

Tampa, FL: A Tampa man allegedly killed his roommate and then drank his blood so police wouldn’t catch him, according to police detectives. Mauricio Mendez Lopez, 42, was caught after a witness saw him holding the glass he used to drink the blood while screaming, “This is my secret!”  The witness also told police that in Mexico, killers often drink the blood of their victims thinking that it will keep police from catching them.

That is so utterly stupid! What a freak!

St. Petersburg, FL: Here’s one about a thief  who must think that it costs too much to smoke.  When told by a clerk in a St. Petersburg convenience store that the cheapest pack of cigarettes they sold cost $4, he pulled  out a knife and demanded the cigs.  He then left $2.35 on the counter, shook both the clerk’s hand and the hand of the clerk’s wife and then fled the store.  Police theorize the crook thought $2.35 was a reasonable price for the smoke.

Desperate for a smoke….

Sarasota, FL: A burglar in Sarasota caught by police in a home he had burglarized three years earlier told police he had recently been released from jail and that he was going back to the  same home to leave a thank you note for the owners of the home. Police arrested him any way because police found on him a load of jewelry he had just collected from the bedroom.

How stupid can you get??

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