CONNECTICUT: When doctors at a New Haven hospital performed an X-ray on Tyrese Chapman they found a bag of crack cocaine hidden in his anus. Chapman who once did an 11 year tip for robbery was being treated for a bullet to the knee, and police were keeping him under guard while they continued their investigation.
THIS SOUNDS SO BOGUS. IF THEY NEEDED TO TREAT HIS WOUND TO THE KNEE HOW DID THEY GET AROUND TO X-RAYING HIS ANUS? INQUIRING MINDS WANT TO KNOW…
IDAHO: We learn that there was a recent robbery in the town of Burley. The police report maintains that “a man wearing a duck mask held up a gas station and waddled away with a wad of cash.”
QUACK, QUACK…
INDIANA: Timothy Thompson was so excited about getting married that he sped to the church in the town of Portage at 100 mph. Police cornered Thompson, who had gotten out of jail earlier that day, in the church parking lot, where he nearly tipped over his car while doing doughnuts. Thompson and his bride will now have to wait a while to tie the knot because he was sent back to jail later that same day.
HORNEY IDIOT…
CALIFORNIA: A janitor in San Mateo was recently convicted of faking an ankle injury to collect workers’ compensation payments. What did the evidence show? She was seen running in a park in high heels to her boyfriend. Then, doctors testified she performed a sex act that would have been impossible with an injured ankle.
IT COULD NOT HAVE BEEN “DOGGIE STYLE,” THEN…
