ALABAMA: A Birmingham man has pleaded guilty to using Twitter to threaten the life of President Obama. A federal grand jury had previously indicted 25 year old Jarvis Britton on charges that he knowingly threatened to kill, kidnap, or inflict bodily harm on the President. Prosecutors say he tweeted, “Let’s kill the president. F.E.A.R.” The federal prosecutors maintain that F.E.A.R., a national militia group, had an ultimate goal to overthrow the U.S. government.
WHAT A BUNCH OF PUDDING HEADS!
WEST VIRGINIA: An eighth-grader at a middle school was arrested after wearing to class a T-shirt that featured a picture of a gun and a phrase that read: “Protect your right.” Jared Marcum was charged with “disturbing the education process.”
HAS THE NRA HEARD ABOUT THIS OUTRAGEOUS ATTACK ON OUR SECOND AMENDMENT RIGHTS YET?
MISSISSIPPI: A Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus elephant was hit by a bullet recently in a drive-by shooting in Tupelo. Circus spokesman Melinda Hartline said the elephant was not seriously hurt, adding that no other animals were harmed.
WHAT KIND OF A BEEF COULD THE SHOOTERS HAVE HAD WITH A CIRCUS ELEPHANT TO PULL OFF A DRIVE-BY?
GEORGIA: When a boy acted up in this Georgia store, a clerk decided to take discipline in her own hands. The Dollar General worker spanked the 8-year old with a belt 25 times after he threw a cookie at her. The woman was later arrested for assault and fired.
SHE WILL PROBABLY ALSO BE SUED BY THE FAMILY OF THE BOY IN CIVIL COURT FOR KIDNAPPING, BATTERY AND AGGRAVATED ASSAULT. DO NOT WHIP OTHER PEOPLE’S CHILDREN IN PUBLIC, FOLKS.
