ILLINOIS: The headline read: “The revenge of the Kamikaze Squirrel.” A Chicago City Alderman was seriously injured when a squirrel darted into his bicycle—and now wonders whether the suicide might have been an act of rodent revenge. Just a few weeks earlier, Alderman Howard Brookins put Chicago’s squirrel community on notice at a city council meeting where he reported his colleagues that he “was sick of aggressive squirrels ravaging garbage cans and costing taxpayers millions of dollars.” He went to contend to the council that the city was “spending too much money on replacing garbage cans because squirrels continue to eat through them. This was in October, 2016. Three weeks later Brookins was biking along the Cal-Sag bike Trail when a squirrel ran right into his path causing the alderman to flip the bike and crash to the ground as the squirrel got tangled and mangled in the spokes of the front wheel. Brookins broke several teeth; his lip and mouth were busted open and he suffered a fracture in the nose area of his face. Brookins later joked that the squirrels targeted him for his tough talk.
MASSACHUSETTS: Spelling Bee Bandit? A dim-bulb of a bank robber misspelled the same word on four notes he passed tellers tipping police off to his scheme. Allegedly, the bandit scribbled the word “Robery” – spelled incorrectly with only one “b” – on notes demanding cash at banks in the Boston area. The FBI who are hunting for him have dubbed him the Spelling Bee Bandit.
NEW YORK CITY: He lost his head on the subway – Ouch! A subway “surfer” hanging on to the outside of a car lost his grip and plunged to the tracks, where he was decapitated by the subway train. The gruesome accident happened at 3 pm in November, 2016 on a Brooklyn- bound train. The man, whose name was not disclosed, had been clinging to a door, Some 1,500 passengers were trapped for two hours, before MTA workers walked them about 100 yards to the nearest station.
