AUSTRALIA: Police are looking for “The Bumcrack Bandit.” Authorities say the female felon held up a hotel bar and the only clue is a surveillance video of the woman making her getaway with her pants hung low which exposed her butt crack (or “bumcrack, ”as they say in Australia). Police are now asking the public’s help in identifying the behind behind the theft.
BUMCRACK??
SWEDEN: We learn that a Swedish train passenger was sentenced to prison for getting high and taking off his clothes. The unidentified man was travelling from Gothenburg to Orebro when he got high on pot, took off his clothes and walked through the train asking other passengers to have sex with him.
DID HE ASK BOTH WOMEN AND MEN TO HAVE SEX WITH HIM?
EGYPT: “Brainy” smugglers? Egyptian customs officers confiscated 420 pounds of frozen cow brains that three Sudanese travelers were trying to sneak into the country. We understand that the brains, considered a tasty menu item in restaurants could have netted the men $1,500, but were confiscated because authorities could not be certain that the brains had been properly preserved.
THEY COULD HAVE USED IGOR’S HELP…
SYRIA: We hear that one of the world’s top paid soccer stars has been drawn into the Syrian government’s propaganda war. Lionel Messi, star for the team in Barcelona, Spain, has been accused by a TV station aligned with Syria’s Assad regime of signaling smuggling routes to rebels in the way he passed the soccer ball on the field.
YEP, THIS IS CERTAINLY SOMETHING THE ASSAD REGIME WOULD BELIEVE…
