Weird Criminal Law 35

Again, Birdsong wonders how did these people get so stupid? Read and wonder. These are true stories.

England: A foul Englishman has been charged with animal cruelty for forcing a chicken to drink whisky and then blowing pot smoke in its face. The hen’s owner called police and a very foul Gary Maxwell, 21, was arrested. A judge called the episode a “horrible crime.”

Those English judges are given to overstatement at times…this is one of them.

Alaska: Call him Gramps the Pusher. Police in Alaska arrested an 81-year old man for selling pain pills from his home. Police took 80 pills of OxyContin from Rayfield Dupree when he was arrested. He was charged with felony drug misconduct.

Who can live on social security alone, I ask you?

Queens, NY: A bubble-gum bandit bit off more than he could chew recently when he was busted and sent to jail for swiping almost a dozen packages of gum from a Queens store. William Rouse, 47, was caught on a surveillance camera pilfering gum from a K-Mart. A security guard grabbed him at the front door and found 54 packs of bubble gum stuffed in his bag. The loot was worth $172. This was in November 2008. In July 2008 Rouse had been busted at a Queens’ BJ’s Wholesale Club trying to walk out of the store with 25 packs of gum stuffed in his beach bag. Upon being arrested for that heist Rouse bragged to the arresting officer that, “This place is a gold mine.!”

Sounds like this crook needs gum control.

Spokane, WA: A 67 year old man, John Paul Adams allegedly walked into a gas station with a loaded .22 caliber rifle, told the clerk, “Give me what you got,” and then ordered him to call the police after grabbing hundreds of dollars from the cash drawer. Adams went outside, unloaded his rifle, leaned it against the phone booth, and ‘stood there and waited for us,’ said Officer Tim Moses.

It’s hard out here for a pimp…prison is a much easier life.

Valentine, NE: Police in Valentine have finally nabbed the “Butt Bandit,” a 35 year old man they believe has left greasy – and graphic –imprints of his buttocks and groin on the windows of stores, churches and schools for the past year. “This isn’t normal behavior for Valentine, Nebraska,” said Cherry County Attorney Eric Scott.

OK. We now know who did it…When do we find out why? What message was the “Butt Bandit” sending?