Clay City, KY: A Kentucky man got his just reward for providing information about a burglary — free room and board at the local jail. Police in Clay City said the 20 year old implicated himself in the crime while trying to collect reward money from the owner of a store that had been ripped off. His biggest mistake — showing up in the same outfit he wore for the burglary.
Dummy!
Philadelphia, PA: A Roman Catholic priest was arrested for trying to buy cocaine in Philly. Police said they saw Father James Shimsky, 50, of the Diocese of Scranton, pull up to a dealer on the street and purchase a bag of coke. He has been ordered to take a leave of absence.
He had better go to confession straightaway…
Malawi: If you are upset about missing the witch trials in Salem, Mass, you might want to take a trip to the African country of Malawi. A Malawian court recently threw a man in jail for casting a spell that blocked rain from falling on his neighbor’s field. The perpetrator was sentenced to two months at hard labor after he confessed to a charge of witchcraft.
HOCUS POCUS!
Pennsylvania: You might call it self-serve policing! A man arrested on burglary charges wandered away from a Pennsylvania courthouse after being asked to walk three blocks by himself to a court office to have an ankle monitor put on following his arraignment. Jonathan Hurst’s disappearance wasn’t discovered for two weeks, much to the embarrassment of the police.
Does “Keystone” ring any bells?
England: A British warehouse worker is kicking up a stink after he got fired for farting too much. Daniel Cambridge said he was canned from a supermarket warehouse because of his farts, but he claims he can’t help himself. “It is a side effect of the antidepression tablets I’m taking,” he said. Warehouse officials declined comment.
Of course, he is depressed because he farts so much.
