Weird Criminal Law Stories 161

Alliance, OH: She needed a matchmaker not 911.  A woman desperate to find a husband called the local 911 number five times asking authorities to find her a husband.  “You need to get a husband?” a confused operator asked the woman who responded: “Yes, let’s do it.”  What Audrey Scott, 57, got was three days in jail — and no husband.

Could she have been drunk?  You think!

Pennsylvania: Troy Alvin, a convicted murderer, willed his TV, radio and his corpse to the judge that convicted him in the case.  The will attempt did not succeed.  Judge Edward Smith quashed the will because he said it was just an attempt by Alvin to get him off the case for a conflict of interest.

Alvin was no Perry Mason.

Kalamazoo, MI: Patrons at a Wendy’s drive-through in Kalamazoo got mad after their order wasn’t filled to their satisfaction, so they hurled drinks, burgers and fries at a worker inside.  The worker fired right back with a drink, ketchup and fries, prompting two people in the car to go inside and continue the fight with fists.  The two patrons were arrested for assault.

You don’t mess with Wendy’s!

St. Petersburg, Russia: Pranksters painted a 220 foot long penis on the flat deck of a drawbridge in St. Petersburg to protest the recent international Economic Forum.  We are told it can not be seen when cars are riding over it.  However, whenever the bridges goes up, the phallus rises in the air.

Sounds like an “Erector Set.”

Monroe County, FL:  We have learned that a “mummified” body on an abandoned boat in the Florida Keys turned out to be a mannequin. Monroe County sheriff deputies received a report from a married couple who spotted what they thought was a body in an abandoned  boat off Sugarloaf Key.  it was no mummy — just a dummy, say deputies.

Weird! Who leaves mannequins on abandoned boats in the Florida Keys?

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