Weird Criminal Law Stories # 325: New Headlights

FLORIDA: A roadside beggar says she need a new set of “headlights.” Christina Andrews carries a pink sign on a Pensacola road that reads, “Not homeless, need boobs.” Andrews, who is trying to raise money for implants, said, “I thought people would laugh and keep going, But they’re like, Hey. Here’s some money.”

…And just how flat chested are you Christina? Inquiring minds would like to know.


FLORIDA: Two stories about crack pipe hiding. When 46- year- old Oliver Johnson submitted to an X-ray in the St. Lucie County lockup, police spotted a crack pipe in his stomach, said authorities who took him off to a hospital. In Vero Beach, around the same time, a female jail corrections officer conducted a cavity search on drug suspect, Amanda Goss, and found a crack pipe in her vagina.

We wonder whether Johnson and Goss knew each other?


WASHINGTON: A woman was arrested after allegedly entering the Dim Sum King restaurant in Seattle, shouting, “Go back to China,” and going on a rampage. She, reportedly, overturned diner’s plates, grabbed a soy sauce dispenser and poured it on a man and his baby. She also slapped the police officer as he was putting handcuffs on her.

Hey, they’re here and they are not going back to China. Enough racist rant!



WASHINGTON:  Justin Palmer, 25, of Bellingham, was arrested after he pointed his gun through the window of his pickup truck at a pregnant woman he saw smoking a cigarette. He then threatened to blow her away if she didn’t stop smoking.

The logic? Palmer takes women’s health so seriously he’s willing to shoot them to keep them and their unborn safe.


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