Years ago Birdsong was stationed in Germany as a State Department officer. Here are a few recent weird stories from Germany. Ja voll.
Possendorf, Germany: This really isn’t a crime but it seems criminal. The German newspaper, Bild Zeitung, reported in May 2010, that a German mailman married his cat in an elaborate ceremony. Uwe Mitzscherlich, 39, told the newspaper he wanted to marry his 15 year old, obese, asthmatic feline, Cecilia, before she died. “We cuddle all the time, and she has always slept in my bed,” said Ewe. The Bild further reports that the groom was dressed in a top hat and tails and the bride wore a white dress and meowed throughout the ceremony.
Like I said, maybe not a crime but it seems criminal… This one sets same sex marriage on its head!
Malliss, Germany: A robbery gang in Malliss detonated a hugely powerful explosive device in an attempt to blast open a bank’s ATM machine. The explosion practically destroyed the building — but the ATM survived intact. It is further reported that the embarrassed thieves fled empty handed.
KA-BOOM
GERMANY: The world’s biggest underwear thief is now locked up. German police uncovered 1,000 pair of underpants after they caught a 46-year old man swiping three more. He claimed he acquired them in car-trunk sales and over the Internet.
There is a whole lot more to this story that Birdsong just does not want to know…
Germany: A jealous husband in Germany hired assassins who four times botched hit jobs on his wife. The first attempt failed when the target never showed; the second when a group of school children disrupted the killer; a third came when a neighbor sauntered by; and finally when the woman managed to escape the attack.
Hit and miss assassins… It’s cheaper to keep her.
Germany: A German drunkard stumbled into an open drain and got stuck in the hole because of his beer gut. Gerhard Wilder, 46, was so tightly wedged in, police called firefighters to free him. He has vowed to go on a diet and cut back on his beer intake after embarrassing photos of him showed up on the Internet.
Sounds like he was a whopper.
Germany: It is unlawful in Germany to manufacture, possess or display any objects glorifying the Third Reich. Recently, German prosecutors have been investigating an artist who created a series of garden gnomes with their arms raised in a Nazi salute. Investigators, however, are not sure if the artist is pro-Hitler or just ridiculing the Third Reich. “It will depend on what the artist and the owners of the gallery have to say for themselves,” said a prosecution spokesman.
SIEG HEIL
Germany: It is reported in July 2009, that a car thief stole the limo of Germany’s health minister while she was on vacation in Spain. Someone broke into the room of Health Minister Ulla Schmidt’s chauffer, grabbed the car keys and made off with the black Mercedes, said a Health Ministry spokesperson.
GESUNDHIET!
GERMANY: A German potato farmer got a ticket in the mail claiming a speed camera clocked him going 76 mph on his tractor, along with a picture of him going through the speed trap. “My tractor is fairly modern and got a good motor, but I can guarantee it is no supercar.” Thorsten Holck said.
If there was such a tractor,potato farming would be more fun….
GERMANY: A blitzed Berlin bride spent her wedding night passed out next to a crate of vodka in the back seat of a BMW. Police in Cologne said the inebriated 30 year old, still clad in her wedding dress, remained unconscious even after rescuers smashed the window to free her from the car.
BETRUNKEN! GOTT IN HIMMEL…VAROOM?
