Italy: An Italian divorcee and her new lover stand accused of killing her ex-husband. How did they do it? Allegedly, they suffocated him by shoving a block of butter down his throat. It appears that the couple had hoped that the evidence would melt away, say investigators. The butter did not melt. The two initially told authorities they tied up Calogero Lo Coco,40, when he attacked them at his former home.
Yeah right! Self defense with a stick of butter!
Seattle, WA: Have you heard the one about the polite robber? He walked into a Seattle convenience store earlier this year and asked the owner for a favor. Asked what he meant, the crook pulled a gun and replied, “I’m robbing you, sir.” The crook explained he had children to feed and promised to return the $300 he took if he ever got back on his feet financially. He left apologizing for his actions.
So sorry…now give me your dough!
Silver Spring, MD: Police in this Maryland town arrested a man who decided to charge his cell phone in a home he had just burglarized. The homeowner’s son surprised the burglar as he searched for valuables. The thief made a quick getaway out of a window — leaving his phone behind.
OOOOOPS! WHAT AN IDIOT!
Minneapolis, MN: A Minneapolis woman was arrested after allegedly trying to mail a puppy to Atlanta in a plain brown box without food or air holes. The parcel with the pooch was noticed by a postal workers when it started moving around inside the box and fell off a counter. Postal authorities said the 4 month old poodle-schnauzer would have died in a plane’s unpressurized cargo hold.
Where is PETA when you need them?
The Vatican: We have learned that you will not be allowed to confess your sins with your iPhone. The Vatican has banned performing the sacrament of confession by iPhone, after programmers developed an application that would let priests take confessions remotely. “I must stress to avoid all ambiguity, under no circumstance is it possible to confess by iPhone,” contended Vatican spokesman, Federico Lombardi
HAIL MARY FULL OF GRACE, BLESSED ART THOU AND BLESSED BE THE FRUIT OF THY WOMB…. Hello, hello, can you hear me now, hello…Why can’t I confess on my phone?
