MEXICO: Hot to trot? A woman was caught masturbating in a movie theater while watching the movie “Fifty Shades of Grey.” The woman was caught when patrons sensed there was a little too much action in the 12th row and alerted management at the theater. The lady may have gotten just what she wanted when police arrived and put her in handcuffs during the sex-bondage box office hit.
ENGLAND: Certainly not a ringing endorsement! Thieves made off with 5,000 bottles of mediocre wine from a vineyard in West Sussex that sells its most acclaimed red wine for $13.50 a bottle. The head winemaker at the Bolney estate admitted that the winery had very little security because English wine generally wasn’t worth stealing.
WASHINGTON: An “eggs-amination.” Seattle police are searching for a thug who tossed an egg at a woman’s head hard enough to knock her unconscious. The egg thrower was in a car full of other young thugs who hurled eggs at people outside of a local bar. The report read: “The woman was struck behind the ear and taken for an ‘eggs-amination’ at a local hospital.”
PENNSYLVANIA: A group of underage college students in the town of Radnor ordered fake IDs from China, but the plan backfired when the fakes were delivered to the school dean, who has the same name as one of the teens. Ironically, that name is Dean.
