Weird Criminal Law Stories # 403: Totally Socks!

MICHIGAN: The headline read: “This marijuana totally socks.” A man who brought a backpack stuffed with dirty socks to a couple looking to buy a pound of pot is facing prison time. It is reported that a fraudulent marijuana sale in Lenawee County’s Raisin Township was described in court when Michael Suarez pleaded guilty to false pretenses in July 2015. The 33-year-old Suarez said he “didn’t bring any weed” and instead had “a bag of dirty socks.” Nevertheless, he faces up to 7 year in prison when sentenced.


MICHIGAN: The follow-up to the previous story. We learn that in September Michael Suarez was sentenced to one year in jail after he was caught in July trying to sell a backpack of dirty socks as marijuana. Suarez, already a convicted felon, was using the dirty laundry to try to score $2,800 in a pot deal gone bad. We hope he will stay out of trouble with laundry after he finishes his sentence.


MASSACHUSETTS: One word: NITWITS! Three men in Springfield held up a food-delivery driver at knifepoint and tried to make off with his car. One problem! None of the dummies knew how to drive a stick-shift vehicle. After grinding the gears for a few minutes, the three ran down the street with the food order.


INDIANA: The bandits were nothing but cretins – they should have used Igor. Interesting story. We learn if you are going to break into the Indiana Medical History Museum and steal jars of brain tissue, where can you sell it? The answer, of course, is on eBay. Police set up a sting operation to arrest David Charles, 21, and charge him with several museum break-ins. Police were tipped off by a man who had paid $670 for some of the jars of brain tissue.



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