ARIZONA: OH POO… A state lawmaker wants to hit undocumented immigrants where it hurts: in the bathroom. State Rep. Carl Steel has sponsored a bill that would make it a felony for anyone illegally in the U.S. to use a public restroom. The bill would also ban them from using sidewalks and roads. The proposal has made a number of pro-immigrant groups so angry that they presented Steel with a toilet with his face painted on it.
ILLINOIS: This fellow was indeed a dunce of a criminal. A thief in Chicago was seen on video last year breaking a tavern’s door lock, then tugging futilely on the door handle for 10 minutes trying to enter. Perhaps, just perhaps, he was a little too anxious or perhaps he couldn’t read the sign on the door which read: “push to open.” After ten minutes of silliness he fled the scene.
COLORADO: What a dummy!! Police in Colorado Springs tracked down house-break suspect Paul Gonzalez by simply following his footprints in the snow. Police quickly found the dummy who was actually surprised that lawmen had tracked him down with so little effort.
CONNECTICUT: Why should they practice what they preach?? We recently learned that the Fire Department headquarters in New London, Conn, does not meet fires-safety codes according to an investigative report. The building has no fire alarm or sprinkler system according to the report. The building is also filled with rodents. “Yes, we have mice. Doesn’t everyone?” the fire chief told reporters at a press conference.