Weird Criminal Law Stories # 433: Penis–Measuring Contest Gone Wrong!

RUSSIA:  The headline read: “Small wonder, “I’d add – OUCH! A Russian man lopped off his best friend’s penis with an axe after their penis-measuring contest. The two middle-aged men had been binge drinking when they pulled out their members and a measuring tape to settle an argument about whose was the longest. The smaller man, then in a rage, sliced off his friend’s member. So much for friendship!


TEXAS: It’s not news when dog bites man… Recently a man high on marijuana called police to report that he had been shot in the buttocks – only to learn that his dog had bit him according to a police report. The man had been smoking marijuana on his porch with his two dogs when a thunderstorm struck, according to the report. It appears that the thunder scared one of the dogs, causing it to nip the man on the left buttock. No arrest was made. Arf, arf….


TEXAS: The headline read: “There was a big steak in this chase.” A man who stole cuts of beef from a Walmart in east Texas led police on a wild pursuit with auto speeds topping 100 mph, according to East Mountain police. The police report indicates that along the way, the suspect hurled the stolen sirloins out of the car window before he was caught.


TENNESSEE: Child neglect for walking? What next? A woman is facing child-neglect charges after deputies found her driving ahead of her young daughters while making them walk to school. Lisa Palmer, 32, told deputies her daughters were being punished for missing the school bus in March 2016. Palmer was 50 yards ahead of the children, who had walked a mile and a half in the cold and had two more miles to go when a deputy cited Palmer and arranged transport for the daughters.



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