PENNSYLVANIA: Headline, “Darryl urine in trouble now.” We learn that a 21-year-old man was caught trying to use his friend’s clean urine for a court-ordered urine test. Darryl Koger allegedly filled a condom with clean urine, but probation officers heard an odd popping noise when he broke open the condom. Koger was then arrested with furnishing drug-free urine and possessing an instrument of crime – the scissors used to open the condom.
OHIO: Will the charges be dropped? It appears that a juror may have swiped oxycodone pills during a drug trial in July. Attorney John Moore believes jurors in Columbus found his client guilty, allowing for one of them without anyone noticing to flee the courthouse with 71 opioid pills that had been offered into evidence, but not properly secured by the courtroom clerk. Moore is seeking a new trial, or for the charges to be dismissed.
PENNSYLVANIA: Salad silliness… A man raved that there was not enough cucumber on his Wendy’s salad. He then threw the salad at an employee and made a threat, police said. Theodore Gunderson, 58, was arrested at the Wendy’s restaurant in New Holland the first Sunday in August after he allegedly cursed, threw the salad at the employee and said, “If I had a gun or knife, you would be the first to go.”
NEW HAMPSHIRE: The headline read, “He’s not making New Hampshire great again.” A man, enraged by a road closure in Portsmouth in mid-August, intentionally hit a construction-zone flagman and sped off, police said. The suspect, Robert Frese, 61, was not difficult to find police said because of his vanity license plates which read: trump1.
OREGON: Bloody fool! A DWI suspect fleeing police was arrested in a jiggle joint. Noah Eiler, 29, slammed his car into a fire hydrant and two decorative lampposts, in the town of Springfield then fled on foot and tried hiding inside the Brick House Gentleman’s Club, right across the street from police headquarters. He was not hard to spot because he was the only bloody guy in the place, said police.
