Weird Criminal Law Stories # 524: Ho, ho, ho, no, no…

MAINE:  Ho, ho, ho, no, no… Police had to chase an alleged car thief who called himself “Santa Claus.” Maine police had chased the man for 50 miles, at speeds reaching 112 mph, before they deployed spike strips in the town of Newburgh and finally nabbed the driver they later identified as Christos Kassaras, 54, of Golfstown, New Hampshire – not “Santa Claus.”


LOUISIANA: IDIOT! A man ditched by his friends on the side of the road, flagged down a passing sheriff’s deputy – and caused his own arrest. How? When the Lafourche Parish Sheriff’s Office ran the ID of Jansen Simon, 30, through a database, it revealed he was wanted for a 2013 hammer attack, according to officials. Simon was charged with battery and two counts of contempt of court for the attack, which left the victim with a fractured skull.


MASSACHUSETTS:  What a dummy! A driver in this state was stopped and fine for trying to slip into a carpool lane with a mannequin riding shotgun. Todd Glidden, 44, of Reading, was given a ticket when the police officer noticed his plastic companion decked out in a hoodie and sunglasses.


MICHIGAN:  No, no to do it yourself pest control? A man tried blowing up a bee’s nest in his garage with fireworks but burned down the entire structure instead. Grand Blanc Township homeowner Mike Tingly said he was just happy that no one was hurt, authorities said.


MICHIGAN:  Moron! A man was arrested for hooking a decal featuring an image of his ex-girlfriend topless to his motorcycle without her permission, according to a police report. Timothy Brandt, 39, was arrested after he posted photos of the bike online and the ex-girlfriend saw it.


MISSOURI:  They raised the roof. – wrong rood, though.  A couple returned home to discover construction workers had ripped the roof off their house by mistake. A crew of hardhats got the wrong address for a project in St. Louis, tore off dozens of shingles – and took off when they realized the error, according to a police report. We learn that the company will fix the damaged roof at no charge for the McInnis family, who were about to sell the home.


MISSOURI / KANSAS: The thief stole the entire house – not just the contents. Yes, a thief stole a whole house – a small, 13-foot-tall mobile boutique that Lisa Stubblefield, of Rolla, Mo, equipped with fitting rooms and clothing racks to take to parties and events. In mid-July, the thief rolled away the house from a parking lot where Stubblefield left it for a Food Truck Showdown in Springfield, Kansas. That was on a Friday in July. In a follow-up to this story, the tiny house was reported found two days later, after Stubblefield had posted a Facebook plea for help. The house was found 100 miles away in Pittsburgh, Kansas. No arrests have been made in this heist.


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