Weird Criminal Law Stories # 531: What a Circus…

FLORIDA: The headline read, “What a circus.” A man dressed as a clown robbed a Waffle House restaurant in Ocala, with an accomplice, who was wearing a goat mask. The bandits ran into the restaurant and one of them whipped out a pistol, according to authorities. We learn that Clown and goat fled with a bag of cash. They are still at large.


CALIFORNIA: Vanity, thy name is man. We learn that a fugitive from the Texas “10 Most Wanted” list was caught because of his boasting in an Instagram post. Christopher Gonzalez, an 18-year-old murder suspect, live-streamed footage of himself showing off a shotgun and other weapons. Dallas police got GPS coordinates off his video and learned he was in Woodland Hill, California. They then alerted local police, who quickly arrested Gonzalez.


CALIFORNIA: Finders’ keepers, losers’ weepers? In El Cerrito on a September day police found a man on the street trying to break security tags off 152 bottles of Jack Daniels whiskey. The 20-year-old told police that he had just happened to have found all the bottles of bourbon, worth about $4,400. Police did not make an immediate arrest, but took the man’s name and address and confiscated the liquor. Police theorize that the whiskey was probably stolen from nearby supermarkets.


INDIANA: He should have stopped for gas, instead. A man who robbed a BP filling station made off with cash but was caught a short time later. Why? The robber had run out of gas. LaPorte police report that Sean Harris, 33, told the clerk he had a gun and took off with money, food, and cigarettes. No gun was found at his arrest.


KENTUCKY: Call the fashion police on this guy.  It has been reported that a blockhead broke into a funeral home in the city of Leitchfield and snatched a dead man’s clothes. The man was caught on surveillance camera peeling off his own clothes before slipping into the dead man’s clothes. We learn, further, that he also took the decedent’s jewelry and the keys to the funeral home’s hearse. No arrest has been made.


KENTUCKY: The headline read, “Call him a soda jerk.” A man held up a Henderson fast food restaurant on a Monday in late September dressed in a Coca-Cola bottle costume, police reported. The handgun waving robber threatened the manager of a Rally’s who was opening up and made off with $500. No arrest has been made.


MARYLAND: The headline read, ‘”It was a ‘clean’ getaway.” It has been reported that a serial thief in Prince Georges County, has made $200,000 by siphoning change from a coin-operated vacuum cleaner at a gas station. The report further revealed that the sly thief has hit the Landover Hills Exxon station at least 15 times over the past three years.  Station owner Tahir Muneer said that bandit sometimes uses tools to get to the cash box – and then uses his own vacuum cleaner to suck out the quarters. Police admit they know who the man is but they haven’t been able to catch him.


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