ALABAMA: Coronavirus Hi-Jinks? It has been reported that attorneys for a county sheriff sought to delay his trial for theft by an untruthful claim that he was being tested for the coronavirus on a Monday in March 2020. The judge in the case criticized the false and panic-inducing claim made by attorneys for Limestone County Sheriff Mike Blakely, 69. The attorneys said they were mistaken about the sheriff’s respiratory woes and not “trying to pull a fast one.” DUMMY LAWYERS!
ARGENTINA: The headline read, “Pokemon No!” Police in Buenos Aires arrested a 28-year-old man who was wandering the streets playing the popular mobile phone game, Pokemon Go. Wejie Xue was nabbed for violating a decree ordering everyone into isolation in a bid to halt the coronavirus.
BELARUS: President Alexander Lukashenko is insisting that vodka and saunas can cure the coronavirus. “People should not only wash their hands with vodka but also poison the virus with it,” he has advised citizens, according to the Times of London. “You should drink the equivalent of 40-50 milliliters of the vodka daily – but not at work. ”Lukashenko, in office since 1994, recommended knocking back the liquor after visits to the banya – a Russian-style sauna – two or three times a week the paper reported,
CALIFORNIA: TP goes to new heights… We learn that a San Francisco man sent his friend a roll of toilet paper by drone during the corona virus-fueled shortage. “I owe you one,” Ian Chan tweeted to his friend, along with a video of the special delivery soaring above an apartment complex, dangling from the drone by a rope.
CALIFORNIA: Flushing away bandits? Police recently found 192 rolls of toilet paper inside a stolen SUV, and arrested the driver. It was not clear whether the bathroom tissue was stolen, said Beverly Hills police, who arrested the suspect for the alleged car theft. The large stash was more than likely linked to a coronavirus-fueled tissue shortage, said police.
CHINA: Dogs and Cats safe from consumption? The city of Shenzhen has become the first city in the country to ban the sale of cat and dog meat amid the coronavirus pandemic. The move came after the outbreak of the illness which emerged in Wuhan has been linked to wildlife meat, prompting authorities to ban the trade and consumption of wild animals. The ban was initiated on or about April 1, 2020.
