Weird Criminal Law Stories 28

These weird criminal law stories come to us from all over the world.  Here are some more for your consideration. They are all true.

 Japan:  a male Japanese air force major was suspended from duty for ten days after he was caught shopping for women’s panties and pantyhose while naked.  “He had just his wallet and his shoes on him,” said an air force spokesman.  “He thought it would be funny if he went into the store stark naked to surprise people.”  The unidentified major was charged with suspicion of indecent exposure.

Yes, there is some suspicion that he has a weird panty fetish… what a weirdo.

Dallas, TX: speaking of panty fetishes.  A kinky thief walked into a Victoria’s Secret in Dallas and made off with 130 pairs of panties valued at $1,067.  Detectives are probing what styles of lustful lace the man fancied.

Talk about getting your panties in a “bunch!”

Boulder, CO: Police in Boulder issued a dozen tickets to people on Halloween night, 2008, for streaking down the street with gutted pumpkins over their heads.  The 10^th annual Naked Pumpkin Run draws many spectators, some of whom chanted to the police to let the streakers go free and “find the real criminals.”

This is like asking to let O.J. go free so he can find the real killers.

Milwaukee, WIS: A wayward youth ran away from boot camp and got the punishment squeezed out of him.  The Milwaukee teen was nearly fatally crushed after escaping from a reform school and jumping into a bin filled with cardboard that minutes later was picked up by a recycling truck.  The truck made several more pickups, further squeezing him until his shouts were finally heard.

Yep, the old squeeze play keeps ‘em honest every time.

Arkansas: An Arkansas woman arrested for public intoxication demanded that police return her aerosol can so she could continue huffing its contents to keep her high going.  When the cop asked her what was she doing, “she wouldn’t say anything except that she wanted her can back so she could finished getting high,” he said.

…Can’t you see that I tweaking, dude!