Weird Criminal Law Stories # 339: Government Shutdown

WASHINGTON, D.C.: During the October 2013 government shutdown, a lady was able to lie her way out of a mugging. The lady was approached by a would be mugger near Capitol Hill, and told him she did not have any cash because of the government shutdown.  When he demanded her cell phone she told him that she worked for the NSA and that he would quickly be tracked down. That was all the mugger had to hear, and he ran away. The lady actually works for a D.C. nonprofit – and actually did have money on her. Liar, liar, panties on fire….


NORTH DAKOTA: He must have had  a very big mower. A Bismarck citizen, suspected of drug dealing provided a novel explanation for the $40,000 found in his possession: lawn mowing. Police had been called to Christopher Loepkke’s home after his girlfriend reported he had attacked her. When police found a stash of drugs and cash, he claimed the money was proceeds from 12 years of mowing his neighbors’ grass. Nevertheless, he was held in lieu of $1,500 bail.


WASHINGTON, D.C.: A DC area high school punished 75 students for violating the dress code when they wore pink shirts to class to bring attention to breast cancer.  Principal Raynah Adams, head of Friendly High school, cited security issues as a reason for the suspensions. What is so insecure about raising awareness of the dangers of breast cancer?


TEXAS: We hear that the Texas “panty robber” has struck again. For the last two years the “panty robber” has been breaking into East Texas homes an taking only women’s undergarments. The Angelina County Sheriff’s Department recently reported the latest burglary wherein, for the first time, the “panty robber” also took children’s underwear. Yep, we have pervert on the loose in East Texas!



Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *