Weird Criminal Law Stories # 415: Paving His Highway to Heaven

MISSOURI: Perhaps he was really paving his highway to heaven. A man apologized for building a patio out of the gravestones of dead war veterans. The unidentified homeowner in Ozark County said he got the gravestones from a nearby landfill after they were abandoned by a local monument maker. “I was just making something out of nothing. Ninety percent of them are broken. They were never in a cemetery,” he said, adding that he plans to dismantle the patio.


FLORIDA: CHOMP! A 32-year-old man was arrested and charged with aggravated battery in august after authorities said he bit off the tip of a woman’s middle finger after she waved it in his face duringan argument. Hillsborough sheriff deputies responded to a battery call and found the woman lying on a lawn chair, a half-inch of her finger was missing. She underwent surgery to repair the wound authorities said. Christopher Butler of Seffner was arrested the same night as his home. When Butler was arrested he was so intoxicated he could not stand on his own. He was transported to jail and faces a charge of aggravated battery with great bodily harm, a felony.


PENNSYLVANIA: A man allegedly pummeled his big brother for eating three Big Mac sandwiches without saving him a single bite. Thomas Veres, 47, was charged with simple assault and harassment after he attached Matthew, 58, at their home in Union Township. The starving sibling bruised his brother’s right eye and left cheek, according to the police report.



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