COLORADO: Nuns on the run!! A man hopped a fence and for some reason chased a little old nun around a convent. The nun-chaser was but one of three rogues who have jumped over the six-foot fence at the Littleton Carmelite Order of Discalced Carmelite in the past year. We learn that the nuns have since asked the city for permission to build an eight-foot-high fence. Good luck!
GEORGIA: The questions is – “Where did he put the cocktail sauce?” A man allegedly purloined a bag of frozen shrimp by shoving it down the front of his pants. Unfortunately, his pants gave off a distinctive crunching sound as he was leaving the Dollar General store in Albany. The man was confronted by the store manager but managed to leave with his purloined seafood.
MARYLAND: A Baltimore police officer has been found guilty of second-degree assault and misconduct in office after a video appeared to show him spitting on a man in handcuffs last year. Sgt. Robert Messner, a 34-year veteran, was sentenced recently to two years of probation, a $500 fine, anger management, community service, and reassignment. Temper, temper….
NEBRASKA: They say this this alleged shoplifter couldn’t get through the courthouse door without breaking more laws. Joshua Weeks, 25, of the town of Beatrice, kept setting off the metal detector at the gage County courthouse near Omaha when guards allegedly spotted drug paraphernalia on him. Deputies say they found syringes and a spoon that tested positive for meth.
MICHIGAN: The headline could’ve read: “Indecent proposal.” It appears that soon after William Cornelius, 25, popped the question and Sheri Moore, 20, said “yep,” the newly engaged couple went on a shoplifting spree in the town of Bay City. First, we learn that Cornelius swiped a bit of jewelry from Walmart as a gift for his fiancee. Then the couple went to Spencer’s Gifts to allegedly steal a vibrator and a pair of edible panties. Unfortunately, they were caught and spent New Year’s Day 2016 in jail.
