Weird Criminal Law Stories # 526: Heard the one about the…

WISCONSIN:  Heard the one about the drunk man who walked into… It appears from a police report that an alleged drunk driver walked into a phone store – and asked to be served chicken. The strange request inside an ATT&T store in the town of Mount Pleasant, led police to track down Fernando Zamora, 54, of Kenosha, in his Cadillac, officials report. Zamora admitted he had taken Xanax and Adderall earlier in the day – sounds like the Tiger Woods DWI defense.


VIRGINIA: How did he get into the home? In late July, a woman called the police to report noises she had been hearing in her house – only to find out that it was actually a homeless man living in her attic. Anthony Jones, 60, was arrested and charged with unlawful entry after officers found him hanging out in the woman’s residence in Arlington. Jones had with him a backpack, some clothes and bedding. He is now sleeping in the Arlington County jail.


CALIFORNIA: There is a special space in hell for this guy! A man inside St. Gertrude church in the city of Bell Gardens, was caught on a surveillance tape stealing a cash box full of donations for the poor.  He was shown praying by the box before breaking it open, say Bell Gardens police.


CALIFORNIA: Irresistible impulse or unexplained impulse? A state judge will lose his job after helping himself to two desk cardholders, each worth $30 to $50. Napa County Judge Michael Williams was caught on video tape swiping the pieces at the City Club of San Francisco during a meeting last year of matrimonial lawyers. Judge Williams apologized, saying he had an “unexplained impulse” to take the holders. He was censured by a state ethics panel and agreed to step down from the bench.


CANADA: The headline read: “Lost and found in the worst possible place.” The Quebec health ministry recently ruled that human error led to a foot-long saw being left inside a patient following a hysterectomy. “It was like being stabbed with a knife,” said Sylvie Dube, who put up with the pain for two months before doctors found the blade.


CHINA/CAMBODIA: The headline read, “The frozen mackerel was extra fishy.” Customs officers in Shanghai discovered more than a ton of cocaine stuffed inside packages of “pacific mackerel.” To reel in the drug smugglers, officers repackaged the coke and let it continue its way from South America to Cambodia – where they arrested four suspects, officer confirm.


CANADA: The headline read: “You snooze, you lose.” A drunken man recently burglarized stranger’s home in Halifax, Nova Scotia, made himself a cup of tea and ate a jam-covered tortilla before falling asleep on the sofa. The homeowner found the sleeping burglar at 3 am and called police. When the police arrived, the suspect appeared to be more upset about being jarred awake than being arrested, said police.


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