Weird Criminal Law # 599: Humps for Bumps?

FLORIDA: The headline read, “He wanted humps for bumps.” A Mayor allegedly promised to get speed bumps installed in a woman’s neighborhood in exchange for sex. Catherine Padilla filed a complaint earlier this year accusing Lantana mayor David Stewart, who took her to a hotel after a lunch meeting and making the indecent proposal. The politician “misused his position to attempt to obtain a sexual benefit for himself,” the Florida Commission on Ethics determined.

GERMANY: They are in deep do-do now… Police arrested two men who allegedly stole more than 1,000 portable toilets – from the waste-disposal firm where they were employed. They are no longer employed, however.

ILLINOIS: “Police pooper chase ends in arrest,” read the headline. Chicago police arrested a mystery pooper in October 2019. Ke Hu, 46, was nabbed after authorities identified him as a man wanted for using feces and food to deface vehicles and storefronts. Allegedly Hu wore white gloves and carried a brown paper bag as he skulked through the neighborhood in the early morning hours, smearing dung all over people’s property, police said.

INDIANA: The wrong pants?  Christopher Culley, 37, was recently arrested allegedly for having crystal meth in his pocket. Culley blamed the previous owner of his thrift store pants. Police had pulled over Culley for swerving on a highway in Lebanon, he told the police that he had bought and worn the secondhand pants directly out of the shop and had no clue about the meth. Nevertheless, police arrested him because they also found a syringe in his car.

KENTUCKY: Breeders’ cup, maybe? A man got drunk, stole a horse and rode it onto Churchill Downs during a horse racing event in October 2018. Louisville police arrested Michael Wells-Rody, 24 for the stunt and charged him with public intoxication and disorderly conduct.

MICHIGAN: He robbed 13 banks and then became a politician. A man who had been arrested for an armed robbery spree in the 1980s is now a city councilman. Kent hall, 72, of Williamston, who served more than six years in federal prison has since undergone treatment for his post traumatic stress disorder, which he said triggered his life of crime. As an elected official, he has earned praise for working with war vets.

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