Weird Criminal Stories # 622: What a package?

ARGENTINA: “What a package!” A married couple was allegedly caught smuggling thousands of dollars’ worth of cocaine and marijuana inside of plastic party penises. The dealers were caught with at least 10 of the gag gifts – often used as party favors at bachelorette parties at their home near Buenos Aires. Police say inside there was more than a kilo of cocaine and a half of kilo of marijuana.

CALIFORNIA: Ring, ring, ring, gulp… A woman in San Diego dreamed she ate her engagement ring – and woke up to find she had. Jenna Evans said she dreamed she and her fiancé Bobby were facing bad guys” on a train and she swallowed the expensive ring to protect it. “When I woke up and it was not on my hand, I knew exactly where it was,” Evans said. “It was in my stomach.” We learn that soon after, doctors were able to remove the ring.

CANADA: The headline read, “Un-bear-able.” It has been reported that a drunken man tried to fight a grizzly bear at Banff National Park in Alberta and was slapped with a $4,000 fine. Devin Mitsuing is allegedly shown in wild video footage shouting at the young bear, throwing rocks at it then putting up his fists up to brawl before the animal flees into the forest. Mitsuing was ordered to pay for disturbing wildlife. Yeah, leave wildlife alone, you drunken dummy.

CANADA: Dumb Bunny Burglar? A man broke into a building and left behind a photocopy of his face, police report. Gary Lambe, 54, allegedly broke into a commercial building in Toronto, ate some food and made a photocopy of his face. Police released the selfie to the public and Lambe was soon arrested.

AUSTRIA: OOOOOOPS! A woman ordered some designer dresses online, but received a box containing $550,000 worth of designer drugs instead.  We have learned that the 59-year-old lady from Linz turned over the package stuffed with 24,800 triangle-shaped purple ecstasy tablets to police. The police said drug dealers likely meant to ship them to a different address. You think?

AUSTRALIA: The headline read, “Thanks a latte.” A would-be car jacker was foiled thanks to a jar of instant coffee. The 48-year-old victim had just bought a jar of Nescafe Blend 43 near Melbourne, when the jacker flashed a fake pistol and demanded his car keys. The victim refused and the jacker whacked him on the head, causing him to drop and break the jar. The shopper then used a shard of glass to fight off the bandit, who fled empty handed

Add a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *